Empty Return

They almost kicked me out of the alienage when I was healthy enough to get out of bed, but I must admit I wouldn’t have been able to stay a single day more. I missed Evelyn so much! And… I couldn’t wait to see Mihitu again. I just hoped nobody had jumped on him during my absence… I remember that beautiful Orlesian girl around, and even if she told me it was not her I should worry about, I still was jealous. Who could resist her… charms?, I think bitter, remembering how she filled her cleavage much better than me. I’m sure Mihitu wouldn’t say she’s a teenager, as he said to me.

And that’s what’s crossing my mind when I approach the inn and see the knight feeding the cats. So at least someone took care of Stripes. Good, now I feel a bit better.

I didn’t mean to talk to him, but he raises his head for a moment and waves. I have no option but to wave back.

“Hi … Thanks for taking care of the cats”

He blushes a bit and mumbles “I love cats. But i don't dare to say it aloud”. Then he turns at looking awkwardly at the ground as if that were very interesting. I smile. That guy always manages to make me want to hug him. How can he pretend to be a brave warrior if he is such a cutie?

Then I notice his bandaged leg and the stick by his side, and I stop smiling.

“Are you all right, ser Kyle?”, I say, walking a bit towards him.

“It’s nothing… Just a fight against some bandits…”, he dismisses, but for the way he’s crouching, I have the feeling it has been a bad wound. It seems well cared of, though, so I suppose it is not that recent. Well, he obviously hasn’t been inactive while I was away, why shouldn’t he? Life continues without me. Or death. Or whatever.

“Seems I can’t leave you alone”, I tease. “Did they attack you?”

He shrugs. “A friend needed help. And when that happens, whoever dares to harm my friends or my love will have to beware my rage”. He looks at me, trying to look fearful. “You wouldn’t like to see my rage, mylady. You would probably never want to approach me again, scared. I become a rude brute”.

If he wants to scare me with that, it doesn’t work. I somehow find adorable that he becomes a brute to defend the ones he love. I sit by his side and smile, waiting for Stripes to allow me to pet her head.

“I don’t think fighting for your friends is scary, ser Kyle” I shrug. I needed to sit. I still feel tired if I stay up for too long.

“I’m not lucky” he sighs. “People I want to make my friends usually take advantage of me, or betray me. But I don’t judge them. I just don’t understand why. I just want to do something peaceful in my life”.

I hug my knees and glance at him. He seems so lonely… same as me. I should rush to meet Evelyn, but I feel guilty for having taken advantage myself of this honest man, when I looked for his company only to get invited to an ale.

“Maybe it’s just my Fate for not having been able to avenge my love”, he says, his eye lost in the distance. “Or for all the bad things I did”

“If that helps…” I say awkwardly, “I’ll be the one to invite you to an ale the next time”.

He chuckles, bitter. “Don’t blame yourself… I don’t mind”. Then his face softens. “I happy to have your company, my lady. As a friend, I will always be there if you need me. Feel free to call me. I will try my best to go help you. Always at your service”. And he smiles like an idiot. “I won’t mind to pay anything for a friend. To make my friends happy. I will be happy for they too.”

I can’t help but chuckle. He seems so clumsy, so in need of a friend. Silly one. They will stab you in the back, and you know it. But you keep trying, and that’s what makes me want to be your friend too, I think. Then I tilt my head to see him better.

“So which friend were you saving from bandits, if I may ask?”. I’m curious to know who he was willing to give his life for this time.

“Mihitu”, he mumbles. “He… could have dead”

My heart jumps. “Mihitu!!! Is he safe?” I’m about to get up, but my legs don’t obey me. He puts a hand softly on my shoulder, and I think his eye is sad for me this time.

“He is…Don’t worry…. somebody is caring for him…”

“Is he… with Lorelei?” I ask. I knew it. This month away. I missed my chance. But he shakes his head.

“No. Not Lorelei. The hunter. Hart”

And now my legs surrender completely and I fall sitting on the ground, my head spinning.

A man.

It’s unbelievable how my world has collapsed in seconds, how everything was related to a man I actually hardly knew. Rage and jealousy mix in my heart, but there’s a third feeling, a feeling of defeat. I could have competed with another woman, as gorgeous as she could be.

But I can’t compete with a man.

“I’m sorry. Maybe he wasn’t the one for you”, Kyle says, softly. Of course. He knows. I had told him. I nod, not able to look him into the eye, and try to reach Stripes to pet her and avoid pouring the tears I feel coming to my eyes.

Finally I manage to get up, stumbling a bit. The warrior tries to help me, but I don’t allow him.

“No, stay… I’m all right… it is just… I’m still dizzy…”, I mumble. “I just need… to get inside…”

Back to my room, back to the safe company of my sister. The only one who will never abandon me.

The only one I can trust.

…or so I thought…