Scars

We need reliable mercenaries to escort Lady Taverline of Alamar and her wedding retinue from Denerim to Dragon's Peak. Only people honorable enough to guard the virtue of a Lady will be accepted. Payment will be given upon the safe delivery of the Lady to her groom, my son.
Signed: Bann Sighard Mallory
(A note in the Merry Mabari Board)

SCARS

The other day I found a note in the Merry Mabari’s board. I took it with wide eyes open and rushed to show it to Kyle

“Kyle, have you seen this? Bann Sighard Mallory! Maybe he has something to do with your family?”

“And what if he does?”, replied Kyle, not very interested.

“Come on? Aren't you even a bit curious? I am!!! Let's sign for this quest!!!”, I said, maybe more excited than I should. Kyle sighed and followed me, because he knows once I have made up my mind, nothing will dissuade me.

“Okey, but I will sign up under a fake name, agreed?”

I jumped of joy like a small child, sure that we would learn forbidden secrets from his past, and joined a group who headed to Denerim to fetch the Lady. On the road, well… we had some troubles, and a beautiful, dark-haired female warrior joined us. Funny thing, the very first impression I had was… seeing her hugging my Kyle as if they were long lost friends…
__________________________________________________ ___________________
Kyle had heard the guards talking about it. Adrienne, the older girl of the Soreils, the Antivan family who had a forge in the human part of the city, had ran away from home, and nobody had been able to find her, even if they had spent the whole day searching. The new shocked him. Adri was only eight years old, and night time was dangerous for a little girl like her. But he also knew little girls were good at hiding, specially when they didn’t want to be found. And if he wasn’t wrong, he may had an idea about where to find her.

The young boy went to the huge gates of the Cousland castle, saluted the guards and walked outside. Near to the gates there was a clear area where Ryan Cousland liked to train him… and he remembered having seen the little girl lurking around most of the times. If his hunch was right, there was a chance that…

Soft sounds of sobbing coming from the near bushes proved his feeling to be right.

“Where are you, Adri? Please, go out", he said aloud. Suddenly the sobs stopped, and he could feel how the child held her breath. “Do you want to be eaten by demons?”, he whispered, teasing.

“NO!”, shouted a voice almost by his side, making him startle. "Leave me alone...."

"I can stand here until you want get out that place", Kyle threatened, in soft voices. Slowly, a dark haired, golden eyed eight years old girl got up and appeared from behind a bush near the castle door. Kyle smiled when he saw her.

"What do you want? I'm not going anywhere!", protested the girl, while kicking the bush. Kyle scratched his head, a bit confused. “I just want to know for sure that you’re safe… It’s not a good idea to be around so late…”. He approached the girl and patted her shoulders. “Don’t be angry. Just tell me what happened”.

Adrienne stared at Kyle with a confused look, then she started crying very hard. Kyle whispered, embarrassed: “I won’t tell anyone. Just say it to me”. The boy found a handkerchief and used it to wipe Adri’s tears from her face. She kept crying, though. "But...but... this is UNFAIR!"

“What is unfair, Adri?", asked Kyle patiently. Adrienne hugged him and kept crying, but more softly.

"Don't tell my mother, she will be more angry at me...she doesn't understand!"
Kyle stoked Adri's hair and said :"Well, I promised not to tell anyone. I always keep my promises. But...”, he added, coughing, “you must tell me slowly what happened”
Adrienne looked at Kyle's eyes with a confused and a bit angry face: "Why can't I be a warrior??" Kyle didn’t reply, confused. “I wanna be like you and Ryan!...”, continued ranting the girl. “It's just...mom..."

Kyle finally could find the words: "Well!! Maybe she loves you too much and she doesn’t want you get hurt!!!" Adrienne looked at her own feet, while Kyle continued, with a smirk: “She loves you so much that’s why she forbid it to you. She just need time to understand your dream”

“But I don't understand it”, protested the girl again, making the bush feel her rage again, “there are lots of female warriors out there!"

“Maybe she thinks you aren’t enough old yet for this?”, Kyle pondered.

"…and then she said that I must be a good girl, become in a nice lady and marry a nice guy...and I do't want it!”

“Or you can reason with her, and convince her that it makes sense to be a warrior, Adri”
"Kyle, I want to fight...keep training with you two...and my brothers when they are older"
Kyle shook his head and sighed. "You can do it everyday, and prove her you can be a good girl, both at the same time"

Adrienne stared at him with a sad look. "But… how could I be a lady and a warrior at the same time?"

Kyle winked "That's why you must train to improve your skills”.

"And...I don't like the idea of marrying anyone...ewww...", the little girl made a disgusting face. "I want to make her happy, but also my father...he likes to train me and teach me about the forge…but when mom told me she wants me to stop training, he didn't say a word...so I ran away..."

"I dont think she will do that" Kyle rubbed her chin, like thinking. "Maybe I can organize it so you can train with us". Adrienne also seemed to think about it. "Secret training, an hour would be enough"

"Would you...WILL YOU?"

Kyle laughed while messing Adri's hair: “Of course. But this is a secret between I and you”. Adrienne looks at Kyle with an astonished look."Don’t say anyone. Can you make a promise?"

“Really?You're not kidding, right?"

"Why should I joke about this?"

"Kyle...I..."

“Can you keep the promise?", he repeated. "A true warrior can’t hesitate, Adri!
Adrienne started crying again and hugged him. "I can! I can, I can, I can!!"
“Good! We have a deal!", said Kyle, while wiping Adri's face carefully with his handkerchief. Then he patted her back and said "Now go home and apologize your mom Adri. They've been looking for you the whole day"

Adrienne smiled at Kyle and stopped crying:"Can you come with me? Maybe mom wont get so angry if you are there..."

“I will go with you. No one can harm you if I still here"

"Mom can scares anyone with her angry look, Kyle, I warn you!", she said while walking towards their home in the outskirts of the city.

Even if Adri hoped otherwise, when they approached the cottage they realized people in there had not gone to bed yet. The lights were still on. They stood in front of door, and Kyle gulped. "Well!! At least I will be prepared for that too, thanks to your warning, Adri"

"Thanks the Maker...", gulped Adrienne too, and finally she knocked the door of her house with a scared look

“Who's there?”, asked a female voice from inside the house. Kyle had to wipe the sweat from his forehead before replying, his natural shyness didn’t deal well with angry mothers, specially after having lost his three years ago.

"It's me”, he said. “Kyle Mallory. And Adri. She's safe now"

Mathilda Soreil, Adri’s mother, opened the door. She was like an older version of her daughter, but with brown eyes, instead of golden. Red-brown in this case. For the looks of her face it was clear she had been crying, and quite for a long time. Adrienne tiptoed and tried to whisper at Kyle: “Be prepared”

“Adri?????”, shouted the woman. “Is that you???”.

"I think I am, mom...", started the girl, but before she could add anything, her mother rushed forward and held her daughter so tight the child started complaining, while mumbling: “Oh Maker oh Maker oh Maker. Don't you ever dare to do that again!!! I was so worried about you!!!!” She stayed like that for a while, then suddenly she stepped back and looked at her face. “Now you little lady. What did you think you were doing out there at this time of the night?”

"Aren't you angry at me?". Adrienne looked at her mother, scared and confused, while Kyle just stood apart, keeping the distance.

“Angry? Angry? I'm so angry I could kill you if I weren't so grateful you're safe back here”, said Mathilda, caressing her daughter’s cheeks. Adrienne started crying

"It's just I don't want you to be angry at me because I do things I like!!"

“What?”, said her mother, shocked. “You like running away from home?”

"No, I don't mean that...", said the girl still crying, looking at her feet. Kyle swallowed, and that drew Mathilda’s attention towards him.

“You found her?”, she said, as if he noticed him for the first time.
Kyle felt a real state of anxious suspense and restlessness. "Yes!!". Adrienne hugged his hand, and he gently fisted hers in exchange, while her mother looked at him with half closed eyes. “Aren't you that boy who grew up in the alienage?”

Kyle scratches his head: “Yes!!”, he repeated again, feeling under military arrest.

“Don't be angry at him too”, interceded young Adri. “He found me and convinced me to return..."

  
Art by Toñi Gil

“You did so, eh?”, the woman looked at Kyle, like pondering if it was worth saying thank you or not. The boy shivered at the look. “Yes, madame Soreil!”

“Then I guess I owe you one”

“What do you owe me, madame Soreil?", asked Kyle confused.

“A reward, of course”, Mathilda laughed “And what do you want as a worthy prize, then, you my daughter's saviour?”, she added. Adrienne stared at her mother weirdly, and suddenly blushed. “…because she's still too young to give you her hand, you know”. The girl blushed more and more, hiding her face behind her hands and wishing the earth would swallow her.

"No no! I didn’t mean it, madame Soreil", replied Kyle, obviously embarrassed too. "I just want her safe. Nothing more. Please, don’t misunderstand"

Mathilda chuckled. She seemed too glad to see her daughter back to be angry anymore.

“Then a cup of hot chocolate will do, I think”

"Thanks, madame Soreil!!”, said Kyle, relieved. “But it's late. I must go home". He bowed his head to say goodbye, obviously trying to run away, but Adrienne hugged his hand harder and made her cutest face to look at her mother.

“Can WE have hot chocolate then?", she said, innocently.

Mathilda laughed again, seeing the teenager’s embarrassment, and took her daughter’s hand to force her leave her prey. “Then come back when you want, boy”, she said, and then turned to Adri. “And you, young one, you will explain a lot of things to me before you go to bed”

Before leaving, Kyle whispered “Well. First training lesson. Prepare your mind, and be strong, Adri"

Adrienne smiled at Kyle. "I will!"
Kyle winked and added, while waving goodbye: “We can have that hot chocolate later"
__________________________________________________ ________________
Meeting Adrianne has been a revolution in my life.

 At first I couldn’t but feel jealous. How would you feel if you saw such an amazing, beautiful, stunning human woman hugging your fiancé and talking to him as if she had known him forever? The idea of him thinking about her like a little sister wasn’t very believable… considering she’s even older than me… and definitely not childish-looking.

The feeling didn’t last long, however. Adri’s sympathy soon ran over it, and made me forget my concerns. She was truly happy for us, and as all Highever’s Kyle’s friends, she didn’t even blink at the idea of me, a filthy street elf, marrying him. As if it was the most natural thing in the world. Her joy was contagious, her accent terribly funny and her endurance to alcohol something I soon felt tempted to test.

That was my ruin, of course…

Adri offered me to continue speaking (and drinking) in her bedroom, and I accepted all excited, hoping to learn more about Kyle’s childhood, and… maybe about Lindy… But somehow I ended up completely drunk and …sleeping with Adri.

 

Art by Toñi Gil

That seemed a good idea at first. Like the old times, when my sweet Eve was still by my side. And I must admit I slept like a log all the night. Oh well, I was too drunk to even notice otherwise…

The hangover, of course, was epic, and I’d be still feeling drums in my head if Lauren had not provided us some strange herbs, bitter as hell, that made Adri and me feel so much better.

But we didn’t learn the lesson, I guess. Kyle told me I should go to bed early, and he led me to my bedroom at the same time he did… and left me there. I laid awaken in my bed alone, as usual, and when I got tired of trying to sleep without success, I decided to go downstairs and see if the others were still drinking. I could sneak into Kyle’s room later, or maybe try to sleep with Adri again. The idea looked definitely appealing to me.

 

 10. First meeting of Adri and the group in Denerim . The boys find Adri and Mari peacefully sleeping together. Håkan approves. Kyle disapproves. Darn offers a blanket.
Dancing night at Denerim tavern (crazy free RP session): 11. Håkan is no fun. 12. Adri is warm and soft 

 

Art by Toñi Gil

And that was my mistake. Because dancing with Adri was… disturbing. I liked laying my head on her soft breasts too much to be safe. I had strange thoughts. And I found myself wishing to sleep with her again… naked… but not as drunk as the night before. I think I even said she had beautiful eyes for a human…

So I’ve run away from my own mind and seeked shelter on Kyle’s room again. I don’t mind if he wakes up. I don’t mind if he sends me back to my room and ties me to the bed like that time. I just want to take out of my mind the images of soft round breasts and warm female flesh hugging me… and me liking it…
He’s awaken.

He is reading something. I didn’t know he had interest in reading, but I don’t mind. He raises his head and looks up at me. I guess my aspect talks by itself… messy hair, sweaty face, blushed cheeks…

“Mari…” he starts, with that daddy tone I hate. “You’ve been drinking again?”

I sit by his side and hug him. I’m glad to have him here. My heart still beats faster when I see him, so everything is all right. Everything.
He looks at me suspiciously.
“What happens?”

I rub my head against his chest and whisper, relieved: “Nothing, nothing, my love...”
But maybe I act more affectionate than usual, because he’s still suspicious. Even a bit nervous.

“Ehh… that's for what?”
“Nothing”, I insist, trying to make puppy eyes at him. “Can't I be in cuddling mood?”
I kiss his neck and purr.

Kyle sighs and leaves his book on the bed, and hugs me tightly in a comforting way. No need to say anything, that makes me feel much better. He softly caresses my back and kisses me softly… first my lips, then the cheeks, the temples and finally my eyes. I feel relieved. I hug him back, as tight as I can, and look for his lips again to kiss him myself. 

I suddenly realize the depth of my feelings towards him. Like a knife in my heart, painful but sweet at the same time. And I feel happy and sad at the same time too, and a tear falls from my eyes. I can't talk, I just smile and nod, and after that I hug him tight, so tight he chokes. I manage to say "Just never, never leave me, my love".
He holds his breath for a moment and looks at me. He grins “Why do you ask that? I will never leave you”. When he sees my silly tears he kisses them softly, wiping them away with his lips. And he rubs my back gently, to make me feel better. I sniff and smile back at him.

"I was just afraid I could ever loose you". I don't know why that thought crossed my mind, but it hurts more than all the wounds I've ever suffered, both in my flesh and in my soul. I hug him again and kiss his lips, tenderly. 

Click here for the NSFW part

I wake up. This time I think I earned the right to stay by his side for once. He is stubborn, but I’m even more. No hangover, by the way. I smile, remembering the last night. Seems our passionate activity burned the alcohol in my veins before it went to my head.
I turn and look at him. He’s peacefully asleep, laying over his left side, showing his naked back to me. The morning light gets through the window and makes his skin clearly visible.
I look at the scars which cross his shoulders, his spine, his sides. He told me once he was whiped by some bandits when he was a small child. I wonder what kind of men can do that, to hurt a helpless little child so deeply, so painfuly. I follow the twisted drawing with my finger, trying not to touch the lines, trying not to disturb his sleep…

My eyes go down to his waist, where a wider scar covers most of the skin, reaching part of his belly. This scar is wider and brighter than the others, which are like white lines, and there are also some spots in his elbows and his shoulders. This is a burn scar, and seems to have been even more painful than the others. He also told me once. Again, as a child, he was playing at the alienage forge when a pot with melted iron fell over his back. He fainted because of the pain, and if Sariel, the smith, had not seen him just in time, Maker knows what could have happened. I resist the urge to kiss the old wound. That would wake him up.

I get up a litte so I can follow the scars over his chest. He’s got two deep scars, one over his left chest muscle, and the other over his right collarbone. Fighting scars, he said. “I can’t recall where and when did I get all of these, Mari”, he complained once. But I bet he does. He just wants to spare me the bloody details.

Finaly I reach his face. His right side is up, and his hair doesn’t cover it completely. It’s his scarred side. Apart from an innocent scar on the forehead, from a street fight or so he said, there is his missing eye. He never wears an eyepatch, even if I offered him to make one, and the eyesocket is always closed as if he still had two eyes, as if he were always winking, but an ugly scar crosses all the face from the eyebrow to the cheek, telling everybody what happened that terrible, that bloody night. The sight isn’t exactly disgusting, but it would catch everybody’s eyes if he wouldn’t usually cover it with his black hair.

For me, this is the most painful one, because it is not only a scar in the flesh. It is also as scar in the heart, in the soul. It makes me feel guilty because if it wasn’t for what led to that scar, he wouldn’t be mine. It makes me feel jealous because sometimes I think I only own half of what he has been. It makes me feel selfish, because I’m grateful for that. 

Against my will, I weep a silent tear, which falls over the scar. 

He wakes up. “Mari? What are you doing?”

Each scar, a story, I think.

“Hush… sleep again, my love. I was just reading…”



BONUS

Interlude: Whip

By Pham Ngoc Trinh

“Don’t hit him….please sir….don’t hit my son…”

High-pitched cries pierces through the night and through his heart like the sting of the whip on his bleeding back. Outside, the rain keep pouring down the roof, the intertwining branches shivers, the wind is fighting a war up in the starless sky. The man grit his white teeth hard and hold the whip up high only to swing it down heavily over and over. His face could be taken for a demon – flushes with blood thirst. The woman’s body collapse over the boy, her fingers grips the boy’s shoulder tightly, and she gave a slight jerk every time the man swing the whip down. His heart in pieces for each jerk, rage clutching at his windpipe, making him unable to breath. But the boy did not shed a tear.

“Filthy slaves, you scum should just drop dead! Ya’ hear me?”

There’s blood seeping through his shoulder and dripping down his face. The woman has fainted, unable to muster any more strength. The boy looks up. His mother’s eyes are wet with tears. He can still feel the sting of the leather on his hand, his face, his head. His body tenses up, then suddenly he get back up, completely letting the long suppressed hatred take control of him and just rush toward the man like a beast, his tiny head rammed into the man’s twice bigger torso and brought him down. Then the boy ran away, he ran into the heavy ran with the sound of the demon echoes behind his back.

Lightning split the night sky. The small figure keep running in the pouring rain until he stop and fall asleep under the old oak tree.

Meeting in Highever

It's so weird to travel this way.

Kyle has asked me to go with him to Highever so he can introduce me to his friends as his fiancee, and it is such a strange feeling. Somehow this means there's no way back, there's a compromise. It's not anymore something between him and me… and a few friends at the Merry Mabari. I also feel lonely. I have not a place to come back, friends to introduce him too… since Ser August and Eve went away. Though I know they would have approved. They liked him already, or so I want to believe. I try to cling to that thought.

He has rented a horse, because Highever is quite far from Denerim, and at first it sounded like a good idea. Riding in front of him like a princess had such a romantic appeal when he told me. But the beast is big and scary and when I tried to ride it, it tried to bite me. Besides, after two hours of feeling the bones of that beast hitting my own butt's bones I changed my mind. If I don't have to see one of these animals again I will be happy. Kyle sometimes seems offended when I beg him to continue walking for a while, but I'm grateful to feel my feet on the ground again.

The sight of Highever makes me hold my breath. I expected a crowded, dirty city like Denerim, but things here seem a bit more under control. The city is crowned by a majestic castle, where according to Kyle, the Couslands dwell. Most of the buildings are stone ones, and the streets seem clean and safe. The city watch seems a bit more efficient than Denerim's, too. 

He hires two rooms for us at the local tavern, and I pout again at his stubbornness, because I plan to sneak into his room as soon as he falls asleep, as always. I wonder if this is the place where he met Lindy for the first time, but if it brings sad memories to him, he doesn't show. He looks for a messenger and sends a note to the Couslands themselves to arrange a meeting with his friend and mentor. I wonder what I am going to say. I have never met a noble before. Oh, well. If you don't count that guy in Denerim's guard. I mean a decent noble. But he smiles reassuringly.

"You'll like him. Don't worry. Just be yourself"

"Dangerous advice", I reply with a sly smile.

He just laughs. He has started to grow a beard, more accurately a small goatee, and he looks older with it. I thought I would find it weird, and at first it itched, but now I like it. It makes him manlier, and I like to rub my cheek against it when we're in a cuddling mood.
We go to the bar to have a drink and I raise my hand to order an ale, as usual, but he stops me and orders two ciders.

"Try this", he suggests. "It's healthier than ale, and tastes better".

I shrug. As long as it has alcohol, I can give it a chance. I've never drunk anything but ale during all my life, it was the only drink cheap enough for me to afford in quantity enough to get drunk. And it is a pleasant surprise. It tastes like apples. Kyle seems pleased, and a bit proud of himself, when he sees my reaction.

"Maybe I'll switch to this thing in the future", I say approvingly, mainly because I know he'll like the idea.

In the meanwhile, the messenger comes back saying he has delivered the note and that we have an appointment in the afternoon. Of course, everybody talks just to Kyle, and look at me in kind of a condescending way. You don't usually see elves in Shem's taverns, and if the one you see is a female, in the company of a male Shem, most people tend to raise the same conclusions. Well, they're not as wrong as they think, even if Kyle would punch anyone who dared to say it aloud.

After all, none of them would be able to tell the difference between whore and fiancée even talking about their own shem girlfriends. They would say the only difference is the price they have to pay for their company. And I bet some of them would say fiancée is too expensive for what you get.

He doesn't even notice, he just thinks everybody has his same values and that's one of the reasons I love him so much. He thanks the boy, gives him some coppers and turns to me.

"Until we meet Ryan, we can visit the alienage. What do you think?"

The alienage? I'm not crazy about meeting my fellow elves so they can call me a Shem Lover for being seen in his company. At least humans are less picky when they see a couple like us. Some of the men even look at Kyle with a jealous expression, because, you know, they think we're kind of exotic beauties. But for elves I will be double outcast for not mating with someone like them. To continue our stupid bloodline of pointy eared separatist bitches. It's not going to be a pleasant experience. I shake my head.

"Can't we go anywhere else? To visit some other of your friends?"

He looks puzzled. "There's people I hope to meet at the alienage".

Sometimes I forget that's the place he grew up. I agree reluctantly.
"If you think they're not going to greet us there with rotten tomatoes… I guess I can go with you"

He smiles hesitantly, as if he couldn't grasp the rotten tomatoes idea. I feel warm as always. I finish my cider and get up. If we must go there, better do it now so we can come back sooner.

Highever's alienage, like the city itself, seems wealthier, cleaner and safer than Denerim's one. There are a couple of shops, a place where people drinks (I don't dare to call this a tavern, it is more a terrace where they join to laugh and gossip) and some buildings ahead. I can even hear the sound of a forge. One could think people actually is happy here. They have, of course, their share of beggars and sick, but the other elves seem to care for them instead of throwing them to the streets. I can't see any traces of an orphanage, maybe they take care of their orphans too. Even of shem's orphans, I think while looking at Kyle.

To my surprise, not only there are no rotten tomatoes. People even smile at Kyle while he walks through the street, specially the older elves, the ones who have seen him playing in the streets. I hold his hand, proud of him for a while.

When we arrive at the forge, a middle aged woman comes out, with her face red for the heat and showing a wide smile in it. Somehow she makes me think of a ripe apple. Or maybe it was the cider.

"Look who's back!!", she shouts. "Lirya's little Kyle!"

Seeing that woman, average sized for an elf, calling my tall as a tower Kyle "Little" makes me giggle, but here she is, with her apple face, walking fast paced towards him with her arms open. Kyle laughs and takes her in the air like a child. I have the feeling the opposite was usual when he was a kid.

"Meriva!!!", he laughs. "Where's Sariel? And how is the forge going?"

The so-called Meriva giggles and asks him to release her to the ground again. "I'm not a child, you stupid shem!" she teases, but it seems this woman was part of his childhood. I feel envious. Nobody treated me like that in Denerim's alienage.

He deposits her on the ground and she arranges her clothes. "He's gone to Amaranthine with Renard, the merchant, to sell some goodies. And we're about to close a business with the city Watch to provide armors and weapons, so I can't complain."

She looks at him and her eyes show a warm expression.
"Maker, look at you, you're no longer that small child who almost died burned under red hot iron, are you?"

Kyle smiles. He told me once… that big, wide scar on his back and part of his belly was an accident in this same forge. Lirya left him alone while talking to Meriva, and after hearing a thud and a scream, Sariel came back with him in his arms, unconscious, half of his torso's skin burned and full of blisters. I bet no one of them has forgiven themselves for that.

"Any news of Lirya, Meriva?", he asks. "Has she returned… or sent a note or something?"

Meriva shakes her head. 

"No, Kyle, nothing. I'm sorry…. I don't think she'll ever come back"

 

Left to right: Lirya Faelivrin, Lindy Kent, Marilyn Blank

So that's why we are here. He has not lost the hope to see the woman he considers his mother again, even if she disappeared when he was still a child. Kyle seems defeated.
"And I thought you would never come back again either… Ryan told us… what happened…" She doesn't finish her words, but I know what she's talking about. Each time anyone brings that memory back, I see his face darken, and I feel sad and jealous at the same time.

Suddenly she notices me, and I become her excuse to change the subject.
"But look what the cat brought!", she says, looking at me from up to down. I'm still a bit taller than her, but that's not rare, I'm quite tall for the average elf myself. Even if I still look like a doll by Kyle's side. "Who is this cutie, Kyle? A friend of yours? Do you want us to host her here?"

I scowl. Of course. A friend he's going to leave here, that's what they think. That's why Kyle's simple answer makes me smile so widely.

"She's Marilyn of Denerim, my fiancée, Meriva. We're going to get married".

I love how her jaw drops. Things don't change. Even in Highever. I rejoice a few seconds more in her astonishment and then offer her my hand to shake.

"Nice to meet you, Meriva".

I must admit the woman regains her composure quite fast, while she shakes my hand with unusual strength for a female elf.

"Welcome to Highever, Marilyn". Then she turns to Kyle while pointing at her home. "But I'm being a terrible host. Come with me and share a drink. To the old times".

Kyle hesitates "We have an appointment with Ryan, Meriva… I'm not sure if…"
Meriva just pushes him ahead.

"Nah, it will be just a minute. I want to know what you have been doing all those years. Apart from chasing pretty elves, I mean", she smiles looking at me. "Your fiancée, eh?", she adds. "It makes sense. You were always an elf at heart, Kyle. Though I must admit I always thought you'd end up marrying a pretty shem and settling down in hightown like the other shems".

Kyle smiles "My home has always been here, and I can't change what my heart desires. You know I don't care about elves or humans. I love Mari for what she is, regardless of her race or the shape of her ears"

Meriva smiles tenderly and looks at me again. "And me that I was wondering if I could match her to my poor Nelaros! It's already time to find him a good bride".
Old elven hens, I think. Always matchmaking.

"Nelaros is already in marrying age?", Kyle asks. "Last time I say him he was playing with wooden swords. Time flies".

"Now he plays with real ones. He's even a better smith than his father". She shouts while we enter the house. "Nelaros!! Guess who's here!!!"

"Mom!" a voice replies from the forge. "Is it that important? I'm finishing a hoe for the Haringers"

But soon after that a young, blond elf enters the room. He's wearing only his pants and a leather apron, and I must admit his sweating muscles are a pleasant sight to see. He cleans his forehead with a handkerchief while looking at Kyle and myself.

"Kyle?", he smiles upon recognizing him. "Oh, Maker, you're not coming to take revenge for the times I kicked you in the leg, are you?. And the lady is…"

"Mari", I step ahead, offering him my hand to shake. "His fiancée". Let's avoid temptation while it isn't too late.

Instead of shaking my hand, he bows and kisses it and I blush stupidly. Everybody in Highever is like that? Must be something in the water.

"A pleasure indeed", he says with a wink. "Kyle is a lucky man".

"I am the lucky one", I say, stepping back and holding Kyle's arm. "I can be with my heart's chosen one".

Kyle releases himself from my grip and holds me by the waist in a possessive way. There's no danger, but I think we better stop flirting. Meriva notices it too.

"So you're from Denerim, sweetheart? Maybe you know somebody I could match little Nelaros with?"

Ha. I don't like matchmaking and I was always glad nobody cared for us enough to find us a groom at the orphanage, but I can't imagine any of the bitches in Denerim alienage deserving such a jewel as this Nelaros seems… wealthy, handsome and a perfect gentleman. Suddenly I remember Adaia left a daughter who is only 2 or 3 years younger than me… We weren't friends or anything, but if only in her mother's memory, I think I can drop a name…

"Talk to Cyrion Tabris… He's got a nice daughter, if I recall correctly".

"I hope she looks at least a bit like you", says Nelaros. The flatterer.

"I happen to have a twin sister, my friend", I smile, "but I'd prefer her to choose who she hangs around with".

Nelaros smiles, and under his smile I feel approval. He likes the idea of matchmaking as little as I do. He has just accepted it because, well, it's the right thing to do. I like this guy already. Only a few incentives, and I'd be able to send him to the world to fight for what he really wants. Alienages are the same everywhere, after all. This one just smells better.

Meriva offers us some drinks and we chat around other unimportant things, but soon Kyle mumbles an excuse. It is lunch time, and after lunch we have an important meeting. Meriva nods and lets us go. Nelaros shakes my hand, now for real, and I promise to visit him again if I come back to the alienage. He seems interested by my skill with leather. Maybe we can trade some items, he says. I prefer honest Nelaros than flatterer one, and he has noticed it.

We stop at the inn again, have a quick lunch, and following Kyle's advice, I change my traveller's gear by my beloved fancy dress. Because, hey, we're meeting nobility! I'm scared and excited at the same time, but Kyle says I have nothing to fear. Ryan Cousland has been like an older brother for him, and he won't have any problem accepting me. I shrug. If Kyle was a noble himself, I'm sure he would actually have a problem. But I say nothing about it.

It feels weird again, walking in a castle hall, with a lady dress, to meet some nobles. I feel small and insignificant, even if the castle isn't as big on the inside as it looked majestic on the outside. It is more a fortress than a palace, and most of its impressive look is due to the thick walls and watching outposts.

A young redhaired guard leads us to the main room. He acts friendly to Kyle, and he doesn't ask us to release our weapons, which we carry even if we don't wear armors, so I guess he also knows him from the old times he used to hang around with the younger Cousland. I just hold his hand tighter like a little child while we walk through the castle's Main Hall. But this is not an audience, it is just a friend paying a visit to another friend, and soon a man of Kyle's age or slightly older comes to greet us.

"Kyle!" he shouts. His voice is deep and warm. He definitely is happy to see him again.

"You're back!"

He walks to him and pats his back. He's a bit shorter, the average shem's height actually, but as many people, he seems shorter besides Kyle. He also has a goatee, the kind with a moustache, and I can't help but think that his hair grows in a funny way. But his bright blue eyes sparkle when he laughs and I like him from the very beginning.

Art by me

"Just for a visit, Ryan", Kyle says. "We don't plan to settle down yet".

"We?". He looks at me with a wide smile. "That sounds like big plans. So you're the one who could catch him after all these years? And are you sure it was a good idea?"
I giggle. "Yes. Rather sure. If I have not dumped him by now, I think I can resist a lifetime".

Kyle protests with a weak "Hey!", but Ryan laughs.

"I like this girl already, Kyle. Don't let her go away. Mainly because you won't find a girl who can stand you easily".

He shakes my hand with energy. Kyle smiles, I see the complicity between them, even if they are as different as day and night. I can understand why they are so good friends.
He turns again to his friend. "So, what did you plan to do? I've saved the afternoon for you, my friend. Shall we show your girl the wonders of Highever? Or do you prefer to spend the day alone?"

Kyle blushes at what Ryan's words imply, and it makes me giggle. "We still have the night, milord", I add, just for the pleasure of seeing him blushing even more. "I will feel honored if you show me your wonderful city". I'm glad again Ser August took his time to teach me some politeness… I never thought I'd need it, but it's proving useful.

He laughs, while offering me his arm. "Call me Ryan", he says. "If he ever leaves you", he adds, pointing at Kyle and loud enough for him to hear it, "let me know. I have a thing for redhaired ones myself". Yay. So many compliments in a single day, being a taken lady is funnier than I expected!

"I will, mi.. er… Ryan", I reply, "but I won't make it easy for him".

I turn back and reach Kyle's hand. And thus, escorted by two magnificent knights, Ryan Cousland starts by leading me to visit the dependences of the Cousland Castle first.
We stop for a while in the castle chapel, where Ryan and Kyle speak to the priestess to arrange a date for the wedding. Kyle wishes to celebrate it here, and since I don't feel attached to Denerim anyway, I think it is a good idea. Then Ryan asks us to go with him to the kennels because he wants to fetch his mabari, Nero.

On our way there we walk into a young mother with her three years old son, and Ryan introduces us to his sister in law and his nephew, Oren, and I fall in love with him and suddenly wonder how will it be to have my own children (Kyle's children) in the future. You're turning soft, Mari. Only some months ago the idea of having children would have made you puke.

I also fall in love with the adorable mabari puppies they hold in the kennels, but I don't have a lot of time to play with them because Nero jumps over me and throws me to the floor licking my face like Paws uses to do at the inn.

 Damn it, silly dog. I'm supposed to smell like cats, why do all dogs seem to like me so much? And those two shems laughing at my shocked and soaked face don't help a lot.

Finally Ryan whistles and Nero runs to his side, while Kyle helps me to get out, chuckling. I arrange my dress and shake my head at Ryan's suggestion to ask his mother to lend me some clean clothes. After a few more introductions and shaking hands, we are able to get out of the castle and have a walk in the marketplace.

All marketplaces are the same at this time of the day: crowded, noisy, fun and dangerous. I try to avoid being swept by the crowd while protecting my own purse by holding tight Kyle's hand with mine and keeping my other hand over my belongings. Even so, sometimes people pushes me and I find myself looking for his darkhaired head over the crowd, and I thank the Maker he's tall enough to be seen amongst everybody.

Suddenly I hear the well known cry: "To the thief!!!" and all my muscles get ready to run, until I realize it is not because of me this time. A short, brown-haired elf runs while a pissed shem yells and raises his hand, and, on his way, he runs into me and almost makes me fall to the ground. The boy is pretty good, but the marketplace is too crowded, and he can't go too far. The guards catch him soon.

I turn back to reach Kyle when I suddenly remember he has stumbled upon me and I check my purse quickly to make sure everything is there. I sigh of relief for a moment, then I realize there's something more. The guy has put a second purse amongst my clothes. Clever boy. That way nobody will be able to accuse him of the thievery.

The situation is not good for me, though. Either he has mistaken me by his accomplice, or he was just too desperate to keep the loot, but anyway I must get rid of this purse before anyone notices me. We elves are the first ones everyone look at when something is stolen.

Kyle and Ryan are in front one of the stalls, the one is looking around, I hope for me; while the other is looking at the guards in case he has to intercede. It is a good chance. I skip people until I reach them and while he asks if I'm all right, I slip the stolen purse onto the stall's table without being noticed. I don't know where this was stolen from and I don't care, but it is not mine and I don't want problems.

The times in which I would have taken the risk to keep a valuable item are already behind me. Then I grab Kyle's arm and ask him to go away, saying I feel dizzy and that the crowd is making me nervous. He mumbles something about wanting to buy something pretty for me but doesn't argue too much. He doesn't like crowds, either.

The guards have released the elven boy, not having found proof of his theft on him. It's the same story everywhere. If you can't take care of your purse it is your business. The stolen man, though, is rather pissed off and says the purse had something very valuable and that he would report it to the Couslands.

If the merchant in whose stall I've left the purse has noticed it, he says nothing. And I bet that, the more valuable the victim claims his purse to be, the more silent the merchant will be. Everybody is the same everywhere. Anyway, it is not my business anymore.

We walk out of the marketplace, and I make sure I keep flanked by my two personal guards, so they dissuade the young thief to claim a purse I no longer own. And for a moment it seems I'm going to be lucky and he has forgotten about it, but when we walk close to the alienage, I see a group of people, shems and elves together, and the boy is amongst them.

They see us coming and he whispers to his friends. And the situation gets worse as soon as he points at me. I get even closer to Kyle and hold his hand, and he looks at me and then follows my glance. No need to speak, he understands. A single pressure from his hand tells me I must not worry, he's by my side. His right hand is already on the handle of his sword, prepared for battle. So do I, of course. I would rather go naked than without my daggers.

One of the thugs, a human one, bald head, dark beard and scars in the scalp, walks ahead and stop us. He's shorter than Kyle, but he's maybe double his width. He looks at me with a vicious look.

"Look what we have here! A couple of lords with their elven whore. Maybe you're willing to share, messires?"

The thug takes a step closer to me, but Ryan's arm stops him.

"You better think your words twice. This lady is not what you say she is".

I don't like this. So much speaking only gives the others time to group and get closer.
"Oh, yes, yes, of course", scowls the thug. "I didn't notice you dressed her up like a doll. Was that before or after you fucked her?"

Even if I'm used to that kind of insults, I can't help but feeling all my blood coming to my cheeks. At the same time, Kyle draws his sword and swears under his teeth: "Take those words back, you bastard!" and even I feel a bit scared of the expression in his face.

Before he finishes his threat a blade crashes upon his bare sword, and a fight starts.
Ryan was prepared too, and I see his style of fighting is more similar to mine, focused on dodging and agility more than in strength like Kyle's. 

Art by Pham Ngoc Trinh

I struggle with the wide sleeves to swing my own daggers but before I can face any of the thugs, I feel somebody holding me from behind. It's the young elf boy who concealed the purse in my dress and it's clear he thinks I still have it. He uses one hand to try to cover my mouth so I don't scream and instead of grabbing me properly, he tries to touch my breasts with the other hand so his grip isn't strong enough. Stupid teenagers, always thinking with their trousers. I bite the hand in my mouth and kick him back so he releases me in a matter of seconds. One thing I must concede to this dress: they don't see me coming.

The elf boy steps back when he sees me fully armed, and I see real fear in his eyes. He just babbles: "Give me the purse… give me the purse and we will leave you alone".
"I'm sorry, boy", I say. "I don't have it. I didn't want to play this game, so I got rid of it as soon as I could".

I see a mix of rage and fear in his eyes when he charges. Whatever was in that purse, it was valuable for him. Too bad, I didn't want to be involved and I still don't want to". I dodge him easily and scratch his arm with my red and black dagger. It is but a superficial wound, but he screams like a pig, and I remember my dagger is enchanted. It doesn't kill him, but he leaves me alone for a while.

Enough to have a look around and see the situation isn't good. Even if Kyle and Ryan are awesome fighters, the thugs are too many and they don't fight fairly.

 Art by Pham Ngoc Trinh

 I sneak around Kyle's enemies, three men at once, and jump over the back of one of them, trying to cut his throat. But as always I risk too much… I get to sink my dagger in his throat and I hear the familiar choking sound while my pretty dress gets soaked in blood, but I underestimate his size and he still has time to walk back and hit me against a wall nearby. I feel a sudden pain in the back of my head and everything gets dark.

When I open my eyes again, it seems the fight is over. I have it hard to focus my sight and for a moment I only see blurry faces, but finally I can see the concerned faces of my beloved Kyle, sweet Ryan and… Nelaros? What is he doing here? I look around and I see they've brought me to the forge's house again… makes sense, since the fight was near the alienage.

Meriva is taking care of me, thanking the Maker I was just unconscious and reprimanding shamelessly Kyle and Ryan for having allowed me to join the fight. It's funny to see her, an average elven lady with a ripe apple face, making those two grown up shems feel so ashamed. I should tell them the fight was somehow my fault, but I don't know how to start explaining it, and my head still hurts too much to think clearly.

Instead, Ryan explains that shortly after I lost consciousness, a group of elves headed by Nelaros, who had heard the sounds, joined the fight and made the surviving thugs run away. The one whose throat I had slit didn't survive, but the young elf did. Somehow that worries me, that boy was the most dangerous, he was too determined to get that purse. But I don't tell them, not yet. I need to rest a bit and get rid of this horrible headache. But Meriva doesn't let me sleep.

"Don't let yourself go, darling. It can be dangerous"

I feel she's somehow right so I force myself to keep my eyes open and I focus on the boys' conversation. They're bragging around about the fight and how awesome they were. I try to smile.

"Thanks for helping them, Nelaros. They wouldn't have done it without me". I try to giggle but it still hurts so I moan. Kyle touches my cheek, concerned.

"We were coming back from the Castle and saw the fight. I couldn't leave you alone", he says. "Though I think Kyle himself would have killed all those bandits all alone if we had left him. I have never seen such a rage!"

Kyle blushes, as if admitting he was fighting for me made him embarrassed. I look at him feeling all warm and proud.

"That's why he's my knight in shining armor", I say, holding his hand.

"I hope to find a girl who motivates me to fight for her like you motivate him", Nelaros replies, with a warm smile too.

"I'm sure you will", I say. I hope, actually. He deserves it.

"So, how did you like it?", Kyle asks me while we ride back to Denerim. I'm starting to get used to the swing of the horse's movement and I feel a bit sleepy. Being hold by his arms also helps, of course.

"Warm city. I wouldn't mind to settle there", I admit.

"I can always sign up for a post in the castle Guard", he agrees, "and you may work as a servant for the Couslands".

"Me, a servant?" I scowl. "Are you serious? Do you see me helping that old Lady Eleanor hag to dress up? No way! I prefer to watch your back."

He laughs. "I doubt they'll have uniforms of your size in the Guard", he teases.

"Oh, we could settle down in the alienage. I can help Nelaros at his forge, I bet he'll need someone to make scabbards for the weapons and straps for the armors if he's going to supply the Castle Guard".

"I thought you didn't want to live in an alienage anymore"

"Well I can work there during the day and sleep in the castle with you at nights"

"Sounds nice. Though after seeing how you looked at Nelaros' muscles, I think it's me who will have to watch your back while you're working during the day", he smirks.
I punch his arm.

"Hey! His mother will arrange soon a wedding for him so you won't have to worry. And you know I only have eyes for you, silly one. Just let me admire the landscape from time to time".

"Okey, okey, we will talk about that. There's plenty of time".

I smile, and let the movement of the horse cradle me again to fall asleep in his arms. Who knows? It would be nice, to have a long, normal life… for once.

Kyle and his falcon Tim. By the way Kyle is an animal trainer. He already trained Nelson

Aceptation

I can believe he’s doing this. I mean. He IS doing it, and he definitely doesn’t mean what it seems, but he’s doing it and I feel so excited it is almost embarrassing.

And all this because I sneaked in his room again. As I do every night, but he wasn’t asleep this time, so he brought me back to my room over his shoulder while I faked being mad at him, even if inside I was giggling like crazy. 
 

Art by me

 Once there, he threw me over my own bed and held my hands with his left hand, tying them with a rope with his right one. Then he tied the rope to the bed and looked at me.

 “Now you’re staying on your bed ALL the night, all right?"

I scowl. “Are you going to leave me here like that, you bastard? Where anyone can find me and do wathever they want to me?”

“I will close the door”, he mumbles, blushing to death. And he turns back to leave, while I continue shouting.

“Do you expect me to stay here as if nothing had happened? I’ll cry and shout and yell until somebody hear me, and wonders what happened, and even if you lock the door, they’ll open it, and find me here, helpless, tied to a bed just wearing a nightdress and a pair of panties, with them and my hair all messed. What do you think they’ll do? Eh? What, what, what????”

He has left the room while I was talking, not even daring to look back, but I’m sure he didn’t stop hearing me, because a few minutes after he comes back and unties me with a sigh. I sit down on the bed.

“What now? You changed your mind?”. I try to sound as furious as I can, but I knew he would do this, and I can’t be mad at him for long. Not when he has his head down and his green eye seems so guilty. “Have I your permission to go to your bed again???”

He just hugs me as if I were a teddy bear and pushes me back to the bed. I hear his soft whisper on my ear. “I’ll stay here. Just for a while. Until you fall asleep”.

“Ah, of course! Now you do! What if I received a better offer when you left me here? What if…?”

I can’t continue, because he has started stroking my nap, that secret place bigmouthed Darn unveiled for him. I can’t resist it and I purr. Old tricks always work…

“Aah, you cheater…” I pout, trying to sound whiny and sad, but I can’t resist, and I hold his arms, while he hugs me from behind. “You’re so bad to me…”. But even I can’t believe what I am saying…

“Kitty Mari”, he whispers over my ear.

I feel a pleasure chill over my back when he whispers and I feel tempted to attack myself too his weak point, his ears, but I feel so warm and so good I just can’t move. I purr again.

Kyle kisses my nape gently like a good night kiss, and chuckles when he hears me purr. Man, I could die here and I wouldn’t give it a damn. I feel sooo good!!! I almost melt, and I curl a bit more against his strong, protective figure. He replies hugging me gently and smiling. “That’s so you…My bad kitty…”

I can’t help but smile again. That’s why I love him so much. Suddenly, I find myself considering very seriously that offer of marriage, the one I told him I needed time to accept… I say something aloud, and he shifts for a moment.

“OOOH! So you finally accept?”

“You know I would… it was just a matter of time… of being completely sure I want to be by your side to the end of time… and I am now… if you still are…”

He makes me turn to face him and kisses me softly. “Shall we fix a date, then?”, he smiles, sweetly.

“Spring?”, I suggest. “So I can prepare a proper wedding dress”. Maybe that will give me time to find my sister.

He chuckles: “Why everybody chooses spring?”

“You can choose another season if you like”, I reply. “It’s your idea after all”. I really don’t care, I think, but I have the feeling winter is too soon, and summer, too late.
“Ah, no, spring is all right”, he smiles.

“And where?”, I ask. “Here? In Denerim?...Or maybe in Highever?”, I venture, remembering he grew up there. His face changes when I suggest that.

“Can we? In the Chapel of the Cousland castle, maybe? Ryan will be so happy if we do it here, that way we can invite him, and he will help us a lot with the organization! Hahaha!, I can so picture him, saying “Ah, my little brother finally grew up and is settling down!”. And the rest of the team can come with us…”

I smile at his enthusiasm. He’s now like a child in a toyshop. And they say it’s us, girls, the ones who get excited with weddings…

“Of course!!! Shall I start the list of guests?”

“You must do the list of guests, my love”, he says softly. “Oh, we’re going to be so busy!”
He hugs me so tight I get out of breath for a moment, but I don’t mind, because he looks so happy! With luck, he’ll get asleep and forget about going back to his room, I think, while I let myself relax again, and get asleep too.

Mari's revenge (WIP)

Those who were at the IRC last thursday's afternoon (GMT time) may remember a (not so) angry elf running after two warriors and a mage... Well it was quite a crazy situation which had to be sketched so here it is ::

1. Skype roleplaying (not related to the other sketches): Kyle has found Mari posing for the TMM pinup calendar. His first reaction of course is closing his eye and lend her a blanket to cover up. But Mari is an evil bitch and decides the blanket has to be shared. Result: Kyle freezes : :

2. Comment roleplaying. My previous sketchdump [link] almost beats my comments' record when :icondarnarletis: and :iconyozzierozbourne: decided to roleplay in it. Seems Darn's idea to unveal some of the weakest points in elven anatomy pleased Kyle and displeased (not so much) Mari so somehow they involved poor bystander Idris and they ended up running to the woods better than confronting a furious wet-haired elf

3. The situation became so chaotic we decided to solve it in IRC. Here lovely Kaitlyn (sorry if I failed at drawing her! :blushes helped Mari ordering some cupcakes (she didn't eat them! Promised, Lysandro!!!) which ended in the faces of the poor victims. Mari had a special pleasure splashing hers on Kyle's face... to lick the frosting afterwards (which was, of course, much a worse punishment for the shy warrior).

4. But the trap Mari had prepared for the warriors when they came back was the oldest in the world... icy water bucket over the door. Darn could avoid his... but Kyle wasn't so lucky. He got stuck in his bucket so Mari had to butter her hands to help him get rid of it (so if you see now this bucket in his equipment... here's the reason).

5. After everything was calmed, Idris invited the group to have a drink in his room. Kyle left earlier, but Mari stayed. Drinking with Idris is dangerous... one never know what his potions may produce. But dancing with him is fun and cute.

6. That awkward moment which happens when you're too drunk... Darn: "You look like her..." Mari: "Like who?" Darn (stoppin his hand in the middle of the movement): "...nobody"...
Come on, Darn!!! Now Mari DEMANDS to know!!! ::

Three Words

Alone again.

Kyle departed for Denerim five days ago without me and I wonder why. He asked me to wait at The Merry Mabari, because he said I shouldn’t camp in the woods alone. He’s right about this last part, of course. But it’s two days to Denerim and two days back, and that if he doesn’t get lost, as usual. I feel uneasy, nervous and concerned.

First, because the last time I was left alone at the inn, nobody came back, and I can’t help but worry that this time it will be the same. Second, because since we decided to leave the inn together, this may be the first time he’s not by my side. Zara has been kind enough to share the room with me, knowing my phobia to sleep alone, the shadows I see. But it is not the same, even if he always kept the distance and barely touched me, even if we have spent so many nights together in the camp

I look through the window. Dusk is coming and I don’t know if he’ll be back today or I’ll have to spend another night without him. I sit on the bed and look at the lady-like dress I’m wearing. He seems much more comfortable when I wear it, so I use it much more often than I expected when I bought it.

My doubts about his attitude have faded a bit with time. At first I wondered if he was by my side just out of compassion, because it was so hard to get a single kiss, even a hug from him. I said to myself he was shy, he was old-fashioned, but even so... Damn it… I was sure that wasn’t the reaction I had to expect from a man in love.
And my concerns about my own value kept coming back. Being nothing, not even an average elf. Someone whose own kind despises. Whose family left behind. But was I so unable to wake up a male’s desire? What did that say about me?

Then there was that magic morning he let himself to be carried over by his instinct, and then he started to be a bit braver to kiss and hug me in front of other people. And I said to myself it is just a matter of time, and of patience. But I’m still waiting for him to take that final step… to feel I am completely his.

I’m still lost in my thoughts when someone knocks in the door. I rush to open it, faster than I should. And he is there, standing tall against the doorway. At least. I hug him, and he kisses my forehead.

“I missed you. I don’t know what were you doing in Denerim alone, but I don’t want to let you go again without me anymore”.

He just smiles and scratches his head. “It was… something personal. I’m sorry. I had to buy something”.

“Going shopping without me? Oh, man… you’re in trouble”. But I see his concerned face and I soon forget it. “Never mind. Are you tired? Shall we go downstairs and share a beer? Or…” I try to sound seductive again “We can stay here and relax… Maybe you can take off your shirt and I’ll give you a massage”.

He blushes, as usual. And I find it cute, as usual too.

“Mari, please…” he starts. He steps back as if I were burning. Which I am, but that’s a different issue. Suddenly all my concerns while he wasn’t here come back to my head, and I feel furious.

“Oh, no, not again! What’s the problem? You can’t imagine how much I have missed you! You’ll have to take a decission one day!!! I can’t wait forever!!!”

But he turns deadly serious as if he had decided this is the moment to speak. I feel it even in the air around me. This is going to be important.

“We can’t continue this way”, he starts.

So this was it. I scowl.

“Ha. I knew it. So that’s what’s happening… you don’t like me, after all… Or it is just that I am too perverted for you?”

“Maker, no!. I… don’t mean that… I want… but I can’t. Not the way you want, anyway… Not now… But wait… there’s a way…”

He looks in his pockets and takes out a velvet pouch. After opening it, he takes out something shiny and puts it in the palm of his hand.

He kneels. 

“Marry me”

What? I step back, terrified. In his hand shines a simple golden ring, with a polished green stone which tries to look like an emerald. And even so, it must have costed him more than we can afford. My first impulse is to run away, but that would be wrong, and anyway there’s no place to go, so I stop myself.

“Where’s everybody?”. His face says otherwise, but he must be joking. I look around, half expecting the customers of the inn jumping out from their hideouts laughing at me. I’m sure they’re near, waiting to see how the stupid knife eared child believes this joke. Kyle looks at me, as if he didn’t understand. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

He looks puzzled, and even a bit hurt. Either he’s a good actor, or he really doesn’t understand, but I still can’t believe him. “No, no, no… no way. You can’t be serious. Weddings are for the rich ones, for the nobles, for the ones lucky enough to have somebody to arrange a wedding for them at the alienage. Not for someone like me. And plus, you’re human, I’m an elf… I know we aren’t the only mixed couple here…but I doubt anyone outside would approve of the idea.... Who would want to marry an outcast like me?”

“Me”, is his simple and short answer.

And yet, I can’t believe it. I walk around the room, nervous, while he doesn’t move a muscle.

“I’m poor, I have nothing but my body, and you can have it for free, because I’m willing to give it to you. You don’t need to marry me. Why should you? I can’t understand”.

“I love you”.

I stop walking in circles and a I look at him. Those three words are all I wanted to hear, all I needed to hear. Because he had never said them aloud. I always implied them from his acts, but never, never had heard them out of his lips. They change everything and they change nothing, though. Because if he loves me, why does he show it this way? There are thousands of ways to say it. A kiss. A stroke. A hug. A night together. A story shared. A flower picked up on our path. But… marriage?

“Are you serious?”

“Never been more in my whole life”

“But… you know the meaning of this? You don’t need to do it, to get tied to me until death does part us…” and as soon as I say it I realize that’s what makes him so special.
Any other man would just have used me and left me behind as soon as he would have grown tired of me. But he wants to be with me. Forever. Because in this moment, he feels that’s the right thing to do.

But what if he’s wrong? What if he changes his mind in the future?
“We can be together all the same. No need to take any vows…”

“You don’t want”, he stops me, closing his fist around the ring and getting up. The offer is expiring.

“No! I mean… Yes… but…”

I run towards him and hug him, weeping. Please don’t go, I think. Pleasepleaseplease. Damn it, I cry too much.

“It is just… I can’t even grasp it… It is too soon… But maker knows I love you too… so much that it hurts...”

“Shall I take it as a maybe, then?”, he says, a bit more relaxed, while stroking my hair. He’s hugging me tight. It is something.

“A maybe? No… Not a maybe. A yes. A definitive, categorical, emphatic yes. I want to spend my whole life by your side. If you really want.” I wipe out my tears and look at him at the eye. “Just… it’s too soon…Let me just.. grow used to the idea….”

He nods. I hope he understands. I understand him a bit better, actually. Each one of us has our own fears, our own concerns. He wouldn’t be my knight in shinning armor if he had just loved me the first night I had asked him, would he? It makes sense now.

Suddenly, he reaches down and his mouth looks for my lips. He kisses me sweetly, slowly. Without me taking the initiative. I put my arms around his neck and hang on him, sinking my fingers through his silky black hair. Don’t stop, my love. Don’t stop…

I try to imagine myself as a married woman. Mistress Mallory. It sounds weird and makes me feel old. But it has something beautiful, too. Feels like a home, a shelter. And I never had a family name, nobody in the alienage cared to keep one for me. I could definitely get used to this one. Damn it, Mari… where’s your “Don’t get attached to anyone” motto?. Why are you smiling as if you were retarded?
A single thought crosses my mind.
Wait until I tell this to our friends in the inn…

BONUS

According to Trinh, Kyle is the old-fashioned type so he has decided there's only one way to give Mari what she wants...
But we all have our fears... And Mari is absolutely scared of being attached to someone... So this is her very first reaction... And yes, Tim the falcon is facepalming... because he's the only one sane in the group.

Art by Aosuka

After a conversation yesterday with Trinh I just had to draw and upload this sillyness.
We were talking about Mari's new winter armor and she said Kyle wouldn't like her to switch to the two pieces one next summer, because he wouldn't be able to look at her again. And I just said "But... wait, he should be used to see her naked by then?"
Doc: "What?"
Me: "You don't expect Mari to WAIT for a whole year do you???"
And the reply was just "Kyle flees away"
Me: "Mari drags him by his scarf, shouting "Be a man!!!"
Doc: "The scarf stays with Mari... not Kyle".
Now the idea was too hilarious not to be drawn. And yes, the red drops are Kyle's nosebleeding while he flees.
And Mari just feels like Pepe le Pew... 

Shadows

9:25, 4th day of Solace
She fears the shadows, she fights against them. Why? Don’t do that, my offspring. I need them to bring you to me, to wake up your power, to allow me share your blood again. Don’t resist. Don’t cry for help. You will be mine.
(Excerpt from Edanhor Blank’s journal, as found in Highever on 9:25, 14th day of Haring)

SHADOWS

I’m looking at the ceiling and I can’t take my eyes away of it.
No matter how many times I close them and curl over myself trying to get aslept. Silence is worse than anything. I’m always expecting to hear something… creepy noises, things which come for me. So I open my eyes. And I see the shadows. And it is even worse. But I can’t close them after I see the shadows because I’m always finding terrible shapes in them. It’s stupid, I know. But I can’t help it.

I’ve never slept alone. I mean… Eve and me were born at the same moment. We were together even in the womb. Mom and dad made us share a bed from the beginning, and at the orphanage the rooms were collective, so appart from my sister, I used to share it also with two or three more scared, wide eyed girls.

When we left with Ser August, he rented for us a twin bedded room at the Merry Mabari, so I never was alone either. And never thought about it… until Evelyn left.

That day the world crumbled over me. Half or my life was gone. You see, always saying I don’t need to be attached to anybody, and suddenly the idea of sleeping alone, of not hearing Eve’s soft breathing half a meter away, split my world in two. There was more of course, but I must admit that was one of the first things which crossed my mind. Sleeping alone.

In the darkness.
I’ve faced wicked guards, ghosts in the Fade and giant spiders. But the idea of sleeping alone still creeps me out.

And I had to start a relationship with the most old fashioned man in Thedas.
When Kyle agreed to leave the inn with me, I thought we would sleep together. Yeah. The way the Chantry forbids us to do. Why shouldn’t we? I liked him, I was sure he liked me, and we were going to run away together. So that’s what anyone would expect.

I thought his blushing would be temporary and his instinct would be stronger. But that very first night he installed his bedroll away from mine. No need to talk. He respected me, and he planned to continue doing the same that night. I must admit I found it flattering and I felt proud of him. “Ok, Mari”, I thought. “Let’s do it the right way. He’s being serious. Like knights should be.”

But I don’t count that as sleeping alone, since I could feel him some meters away from me, sleeping deeply while the fire was creeping. I felt sure and I could sleep like a log.
When the giant spider bit me, he rented a couple of rooms at the inn, but always stayed in the door of mine, watching for me. I never felt alone either.

And now we’re at the inn again… and he insists on keeping separate rooms. Each time I beg him to share, at least a twin bedded one, his answer is that it is not appropiate.
And I lay awaken in my bed, looking at the ceiling, and jumping at every little crack, at every little light. Like a child. Because I’ve never been alone before. Because the night is lonely, and the shadows make my heart chill.

I change my position again, but it is useless. I can’t sleep. The moon is high in the sky and there are surely a few hours left before dawn. If we are to part to Denerim tomorrow, I need to sleep something before I get up.

I take my blanket and get out of the room. I don’t mind what he thinks or says. His room is the one just in front of mine. He sleeps confidently, as usual. His breathing is calmed and reassuring. It warms my heart and makes my fears go away. 

Art by Pham Ngoc Trinh

I watch him sleeping, at the pale light of the moon which comes through the window. It’s nice to see him calm, not blushing. With his eye closed, he seems whole again. I resist the urge to mess his hair. I know he’s way older than me, but he still looks like a child to me.

He told me he was sixteen when he was in love for the first time. When he lost her. And I wonder if he has been alone since then, how could he cope. Now that I have him, I know I wouldn’t be able to survive if he was lost. It must have been so terrible.

If I got into the bed by his side, even if it is what my female desire yells me to do, he would wake up, blush terribly and make me go back to my room. So instead of that, I take my blanket and curl on the floor beside the bed. As I have been doing all these nights. I’ve slept on the floor too often to notice how hard it is. I feel warm, and calmed, and protected. I get aslept as soon as I close my eyes.

But today I’m not fast enough. Maybe my sleep was deeper. Or maybe he just… had to go to the loo or something. So he has woken up before I did. I hear his gasp and when I open my eyes I see him staring at me with a terrified expression in his face and covering the lower part of his body clumsily with the sheets. Because, you know, he sleeps naked. As if I cared.

“Mari! What are you doing there?”

I blush. Can you imagine it? He made me blush! But the situation is so weird I can’t help it. I bable an excuse.

“ I couldn’t sleep… I didn’t want to disturb you… Sorry, Kyle, I’m coming to my room!”
I get up and grab my blanket, but he grabs my arm.

“You shouldn’t sleep on the ground. You… you will catch a cold…”

I lower my head.
“I have my own blanket”, I reply.

“Even so”. He’s glaring at me. I wish he could understand.

“Then let me sleep with you”.

He blushes and opens his eye so wide I fear it will fall down.

“Just sleeping”, I add quickly. “Please. I can’t be alone. I’ve never been. I won’t touch you if you don’t want…”

He shakes his head. “I knew you’d ask that…” he starts…

“I know. I understand. I’m back to my room, don’t worry.”

But he doesn’t release my arm. He pats the bed by his side.

“Only sleep? Nothing more?” he asks, while I sit by his side. He’s blushing again. I smile.

“Maybe an innocent hug?” I dare, making puppy elven eyes. “As if you were my teddy bear”.

He snorts.

“Oh… okey. But just this time, deal? And then no more. Just turn away while I find... something to put on”.

I giggle and do as he wants, even if I had my share of sight to see while he was sleeping. And I liked what I saw.

There’s maybe half an hour or so to dawn. The horizon is pink, but the night is still dark. He's now in underwear, and gets in bed again letting me join him by his side. I hug him, as tight that I fear he won’t be able to breath. 

He turns his face back, maybe because he doesn’t want me to see how much he’s blushing. Maybe because other parts of his body have reacted to my touch too, I realize suddenly, but I don’t care and I don’t plan to check it. I smile. And I sink my face in his back. And I purr.

We’ll speak about this tomorrow. And tomorrow night I will sneak again into his room. And I don’t mind what he says or does.

When I wake up the following morning, full daylight entering through the window and the sing of birds filling my ears, he continues back to me. I don’t really know if he’s aslept or not, but I think it is the moment to leave this room and save him an embarrassing moment if anyone sees me. So I move gently to get rid of the sheets, and suddenly I feel the weight of his arm over my waist.

“Stay”, he whispers.

I freeze in the middle of the movement, and enjoy the feeling of his heavy arm over my thin body. I can’t believe what I heard. Has he asked me to stay? Doesn’t he really mind me sleeping with him? I turn my head and I see him looking at me. I have the feeling he has been unable to sleep during all the time I was by his side, seems we are cursed and what the one needs to sleep, is what prevents the other to do it. But I smile
“I’m going nowhere”, I reply. “Not while you allow me staying by your side”

He sinks his face in my hair. He’s still sleepy, and maybe that’s why he seems more affectionate than usual. I’m not going to complain.

“Only this morning”, he says, his voice muffled by my hair. “Take advantage of it”

I turn the rest of my body towards him, and force him to look at me again.
“Not even in separated beds? Come on, you’ve survived. And nobody is going to speak about it, they have more interesting couples to gossip about”.

He turns and leans over his back, snorting.
“You’re impossible! What’s the difference? If you can sleep in a different bed, you can sleep in a different room”

"No, I can't" I reply.

"But… why?"

“Because the first thing I want to see when I wake up is your face”

He groans and gets up, sitting on the other side of the bed.
"Are you going to run away again, as always?" I ask him, bitter. Sometimes I feel so tired of chasing him…

"Sometimes, sleeping with someone else is a sin", he says.

"Only sometimes", I try to argue.

He just puts his hand on his forehead as if he was trying to forget a nightmare. 

"You're testing my self-control. Mind should win instinct".

"Take it as warrior training. Mind over instinct", I tease him. "Come on, I can imagine worse ways to wake up"

"Worse?" he turns and looks at me by the corner of his eye.

"Well, you could wake up with a darkspawn by your side instead of me", I joke.

He smiles faintly and I try to go further through his defenses.

"Not even a morning kiss?"

"Well.. in the Fade may be", he starts, with a wicked sparkle in his eye.

"Why in the Fade, and not in reality?"

"Because I'm not sure if this is a dream or not".

Oh, so if it is a dream, it isn't a sin, is that what you're thinking?. But he doesn't give me time to reply, because suddenly he leans over me without warning. I can't react for a moment, I'm about to ask him who he is and what he has done with Kyle, but I don't want to spoil this moment. I hardly can move, he's double my size after all, but I don't mind, I can't mind, I just feel lost in my world of happiness. The fact that they're so hard to get, makes each hug and each kiss more valuable, and I am too aware of that. 

He's careful, trying not to go too far. Controlling himself, as he said. With a sweet smile, he kisses my collar bones and his hair in my face makes me giggle. I hug him and rub my nose against his neck, and since that doesn't scare him away, I go further and give him several short kisses there too.

He's also kissing my neck now, and the movement puts his ear at my mouth's reach. I continue kissing without thinking, and his round, human ear is such a sweet place to dally about… 

Art by Aosuka

But as soon as he feels my breath there, I notice a change in his pace, in his movements. Suddenly control is over. He moans, and his breathing becomes faster and sounder. He holds me tighter, takes my head with his hands and forces me to face him, so he can kiss my lips like he has never kissed them before. Something has changed. His face shows a dangerous expression, and against all odds I like it. It excites me, and I lose control too. 

"Ohmakerohmakerohmaker", I whisper. Seems I'm turning religious after all.

For a moment our bodies have not enough of the other. His hands leave my head and my hair to hold me even tighter than before. I put my legs around his waist like begging him to continue, asking him not to go away again. He continues kissing my lips, my face, my neck, my ears, as if there was no tomorrow. I feel all my skin burning, and I think that if the Maker has sent us a fire to punish us, I want to burn in it forever.

I feel his hand under my nightdress, trying to touch my skin without stupid fabric in the middle. I think I am sweating. His other hand goes down, trying to get rid of his underwear. The movement brings back a bad memory to my head and for a moment I gasp and freeze. It is just a second, even less than that, but he notices it. The spell is broken.

He stops and takes his hands away as if he had burned them, leaning on them over the mattress to raise his body away from mine. He's still over me, though. His face is red again, but this time it is not the same kind of blushing. He pants. 

"I… I'm sorry… I lost control… I almost…"

I smile. 

"I have liked it too, sweetheart", I reply, teasing but meaning it. I raise a bit my head so my forehead touches his. He seems lost, and terribly guilty. But doesn't change his position, still caging me between his arms. I like it. He glares at me.

"You… don't do that again…" he starts. I guess he means kissing his ear. Seems I found an attack button there.

"I won't, unless you give me permission". I touch his cheek, gently. "But you didn't do anything I didn't want you to do".

He shakes his head. He's still shocked.

"So... how much will you have to pray after this?", I tease him again, trying to make him feel a bit better. It works, he smirks.

"A week"

I giggle. "A week is a lot"

"You're an evil temptress"

He finally turns and leans back on the bed, facing me.

"I bet it wasn't that bad", I try to cheer him up.

"You dirty mind", he teases me. But everything is okay. He's not going to flee this time. 

A part of me is happy this didn't come further. It was so unexpected I must admit I was scared, and now that I think about it, I just prefer to walk a bit slower. To give me time to enjoy each moment and to treasure each little memory a bit more, a bit better.

Shelter. Art by me

"Cuddle time?" he suggests, with a warm smile. Mine is wider when I hear those words. I bet it's even touching my ears.

"Sure!", I reply, while I curl against him and let him stroke my messy hair and caress my back. Pray as much as you want. I already think I am in Heaven.