Shadows

9:25, 4th day of Solace
She fears the shadows, she fights against them. Why? Don’t do that, my offspring. I need them to bring you to me, to wake up your power, to allow me share your blood again. Don’t resist. Don’t cry for help. You will be mine.
(Excerpt from Edanhor Blank’s journal, as found in Highever on 9:25, 14th day of Haring)

SHADOWS

I’m looking at the ceiling and I can’t take my eyes away of it.
No matter how many times I close them and curl over myself trying to get aslept. Silence is worse than anything. I’m always expecting to hear something… creepy noises, things which come for me. So I open my eyes. And I see the shadows. And it is even worse. But I can’t close them after I see the shadows because I’m always finding terrible shapes in them. It’s stupid, I know. But I can’t help it.

I’ve never slept alone. I mean… Eve and me were born at the same moment. We were together even in the womb. Mom and dad made us share a bed from the beginning, and at the orphanage the rooms were collective, so appart from my sister, I used to share it also with two or three more scared, wide eyed girls.

When we left with Ser August, he rented for us a twin bedded room at the Merry Mabari, so I never was alone either. And never thought about it… until Evelyn left.

That day the world crumbled over me. Half or my life was gone. You see, always saying I don’t need to be attached to anybody, and suddenly the idea of sleeping alone, of not hearing Eve’s soft breathing half a meter away, split my world in two. There was more of course, but I must admit that was one of the first things which crossed my mind. Sleeping alone.

In the darkness.
I’ve faced wicked guards, ghosts in the Fade and giant spiders. But the idea of sleeping alone still creeps me out.

And I had to start a relationship with the most old fashioned man in Thedas.
When Kyle agreed to leave the inn with me, I thought we would sleep together. Yeah. The way the Chantry forbids us to do. Why shouldn’t we? I liked him, I was sure he liked me, and we were going to run away together. So that’s what anyone would expect.

I thought his blushing would be temporary and his instinct would be stronger. But that very first night he installed his bedroll away from mine. No need to talk. He respected me, and he planned to continue doing the same that night. I must admit I found it flattering and I felt proud of him. “Ok, Mari”, I thought. “Let’s do it the right way. He’s being serious. Like knights should be.”

But I don’t count that as sleeping alone, since I could feel him some meters away from me, sleeping deeply while the fire was creeping. I felt sure and I could sleep like a log.
When the giant spider bit me, he rented a couple of rooms at the inn, but always stayed in the door of mine, watching for me. I never felt alone either.

And now we’re at the inn again… and he insists on keeping separate rooms. Each time I beg him to share, at least a twin bedded one, his answer is that it is not appropiate.
And I lay awaken in my bed, looking at the ceiling, and jumping at every little crack, at every little light. Like a child. Because I’ve never been alone before. Because the night is lonely, and the shadows make my heart chill.

I change my position again, but it is useless. I can’t sleep. The moon is high in the sky and there are surely a few hours left before dawn. If we are to part to Denerim tomorrow, I need to sleep something before I get up.

I take my blanket and get out of the room. I don’t mind what he thinks or says. His room is the one just in front of mine. He sleeps confidently, as usual. His breathing is calmed and reassuring. It warms my heart and makes my fears go away. 

Art by Pham Ngoc Trinh

I watch him sleeping, at the pale light of the moon which comes through the window. It’s nice to see him calm, not blushing. With his eye closed, he seems whole again. I resist the urge to mess his hair. I know he’s way older than me, but he still looks like a child to me.

He told me he was sixteen when he was in love for the first time. When he lost her. And I wonder if he has been alone since then, how could he cope. Now that I have him, I know I wouldn’t be able to survive if he was lost. It must have been so terrible.

If I got into the bed by his side, even if it is what my female desire yells me to do, he would wake up, blush terribly and make me go back to my room. So instead of that, I take my blanket and curl on the floor beside the bed. As I have been doing all these nights. I’ve slept on the floor too often to notice how hard it is. I feel warm, and calmed, and protected. I get aslept as soon as I close my eyes.

But today I’m not fast enough. Maybe my sleep was deeper. Or maybe he just… had to go to the loo or something. So he has woken up before I did. I hear his gasp and when I open my eyes I see him staring at me with a terrified expression in his face and covering the lower part of his body clumsily with the sheets. Because, you know, he sleeps naked. As if I cared.

“Mari! What are you doing there?”

I blush. Can you imagine it? He made me blush! But the situation is so weird I can’t help it. I bable an excuse.

“ I couldn’t sleep… I didn’t want to disturb you… Sorry, Kyle, I’m coming to my room!”
I get up and grab my blanket, but he grabs my arm.

“You shouldn’t sleep on the ground. You… you will catch a cold…”

I lower my head.
“I have my own blanket”, I reply.

“Even so”. He’s glaring at me. I wish he could understand.

“Then let me sleep with you”.

He blushes and opens his eye so wide I fear it will fall down.

“Just sleeping”, I add quickly. “Please. I can’t be alone. I’ve never been. I won’t touch you if you don’t want…”

He shakes his head. “I knew you’d ask that…” he starts…

“I know. I understand. I’m back to my room, don’t worry.”

But he doesn’t release my arm. He pats the bed by his side.

“Only sleep? Nothing more?” he asks, while I sit by his side. He’s blushing again. I smile.

“Maybe an innocent hug?” I dare, making puppy elven eyes. “As if you were my teddy bear”.

He snorts.

“Oh… okey. But just this time, deal? And then no more. Just turn away while I find... something to put on”.

I giggle and do as he wants, even if I had my share of sight to see while he was sleeping. And I liked what I saw.

There’s maybe half an hour or so to dawn. The horizon is pink, but the night is still dark. He's now in underwear, and gets in bed again letting me join him by his side. I hug him, as tight that I fear he won’t be able to breath. 

He turns his face back, maybe because he doesn’t want me to see how much he’s blushing. Maybe because other parts of his body have reacted to my touch too, I realize suddenly, but I don’t care and I don’t plan to check it. I smile. And I sink my face in his back. And I purr.

We’ll speak about this tomorrow. And tomorrow night I will sneak again into his room. And I don’t mind what he says or does.

When I wake up the following morning, full daylight entering through the window and the sing of birds filling my ears, he continues back to me. I don’t really know if he’s aslept or not, but I think it is the moment to leave this room and save him an embarrassing moment if anyone sees me. So I move gently to get rid of the sheets, and suddenly I feel the weight of his arm over my waist.

“Stay”, he whispers.

I freeze in the middle of the movement, and enjoy the feeling of his heavy arm over my thin body. I can’t believe what I heard. Has he asked me to stay? Doesn’t he really mind me sleeping with him? I turn my head and I see him looking at me. I have the feeling he has been unable to sleep during all the time I was by his side, seems we are cursed and what the one needs to sleep, is what prevents the other to do it. But I smile
“I’m going nowhere”, I reply. “Not while you allow me staying by your side”

He sinks his face in my hair. He’s still sleepy, and maybe that’s why he seems more affectionate than usual. I’m not going to complain.

“Only this morning”, he says, his voice muffled by my hair. “Take advantage of it”

I turn the rest of my body towards him, and force him to look at me again.
“Not even in separated beds? Come on, you’ve survived. And nobody is going to speak about it, they have more interesting couples to gossip about”.

He turns and leans over his back, snorting.
“You’re impossible! What’s the difference? If you can sleep in a different bed, you can sleep in a different room”

"No, I can't" I reply.

"But… why?"

“Because the first thing I want to see when I wake up is your face”

He groans and gets up, sitting on the other side of the bed.
"Are you going to run away again, as always?" I ask him, bitter. Sometimes I feel so tired of chasing him…

"Sometimes, sleeping with someone else is a sin", he says.

"Only sometimes", I try to argue.

He just puts his hand on his forehead as if he was trying to forget a nightmare. 

"You're testing my self-control. Mind should win instinct".

"Take it as warrior training. Mind over instinct", I tease him. "Come on, I can imagine worse ways to wake up"

"Worse?" he turns and looks at me by the corner of his eye.

"Well, you could wake up with a darkspawn by your side instead of me", I joke.

He smiles faintly and I try to go further through his defenses.

"Not even a morning kiss?"

"Well.. in the Fade may be", he starts, with a wicked sparkle in his eye.

"Why in the Fade, and not in reality?"

"Because I'm not sure if this is a dream or not".

Oh, so if it is a dream, it isn't a sin, is that what you're thinking?. But he doesn't give me time to reply, because suddenly he leans over me without warning. I can't react for a moment, I'm about to ask him who he is and what he has done with Kyle, but I don't want to spoil this moment. I hardly can move, he's double my size after all, but I don't mind, I can't mind, I just feel lost in my world of happiness. The fact that they're so hard to get, makes each hug and each kiss more valuable, and I am too aware of that. 

He's careful, trying not to go too far. Controlling himself, as he said. With a sweet smile, he kisses my collar bones and his hair in my face makes me giggle. I hug him and rub my nose against his neck, and since that doesn't scare him away, I go further and give him several short kisses there too.

He's also kissing my neck now, and the movement puts his ear at my mouth's reach. I continue kissing without thinking, and his round, human ear is such a sweet place to dally about… 

Art by Aosuka

But as soon as he feels my breath there, I notice a change in his pace, in his movements. Suddenly control is over. He moans, and his breathing becomes faster and sounder. He holds me tighter, takes my head with his hands and forces me to face him, so he can kiss my lips like he has never kissed them before. Something has changed. His face shows a dangerous expression, and against all odds I like it. It excites me, and I lose control too. 

"Ohmakerohmakerohmaker", I whisper. Seems I'm turning religious after all.

For a moment our bodies have not enough of the other. His hands leave my head and my hair to hold me even tighter than before. I put my legs around his waist like begging him to continue, asking him not to go away again. He continues kissing my lips, my face, my neck, my ears, as if there was no tomorrow. I feel all my skin burning, and I think that if the Maker has sent us a fire to punish us, I want to burn in it forever.

I feel his hand under my nightdress, trying to touch my skin without stupid fabric in the middle. I think I am sweating. His other hand goes down, trying to get rid of his underwear. The movement brings back a bad memory to my head and for a moment I gasp and freeze. It is just a second, even less than that, but he notices it. The spell is broken.

He stops and takes his hands away as if he had burned them, leaning on them over the mattress to raise his body away from mine. He's still over me, though. His face is red again, but this time it is not the same kind of blushing. He pants. 

"I… I'm sorry… I lost control… I almost…"

I smile. 

"I have liked it too, sweetheart", I reply, teasing but meaning it. I raise a bit my head so my forehead touches his. He seems lost, and terribly guilty. But doesn't change his position, still caging me between his arms. I like it. He glares at me.

"You… don't do that again…" he starts. I guess he means kissing his ear. Seems I found an attack button there.

"I won't, unless you give me permission". I touch his cheek, gently. "But you didn't do anything I didn't want you to do".

He shakes his head. He's still shocked.

"So... how much will you have to pray after this?", I tease him again, trying to make him feel a bit better. It works, he smirks.

"A week"

I giggle. "A week is a lot"

"You're an evil temptress"

He finally turns and leans back on the bed, facing me.

"I bet it wasn't that bad", I try to cheer him up.

"You dirty mind", he teases me. But everything is okay. He's not going to flee this time. 

A part of me is happy this didn't come further. It was so unexpected I must admit I was scared, and now that I think about it, I just prefer to walk a bit slower. To give me time to enjoy each moment and to treasure each little memory a bit more, a bit better.

Shelter. Art by me

"Cuddle time?" he suggests, with a warm smile. Mine is wider when I hear those words. I bet it's even touching my ears.

"Sure!", I reply, while I curl against him and let him stroke my messy hair and caress my back. Pray as much as you want. I already think I am in Heaven.

A reason to live

Back in the Merry Mabari, after facing my past again and realizing again there’s nothing left for me in Denerim. So many emotions in a single morning. I really need to have a bath to take all the slime out of my hair and clothes and relax.

But Kyle proposes an ale before doing anyting and I agree that it sounds also a good idea. The bath can wait.

So we sit in front of the bar and ask for beverages. I’m faithful to my usual ale. Kyle asks for wine. While we wait for them to be served, he looks at me.

“Weren’t you too harsh to that poor boy?”. He means the little thief who stole Haakan’s purse.

“We almost get killed by that thing in the pipe because of him. You can’t blame me if I was a bit upset!”

“You didn’t look like yourself”, he adds, sadly.

I agree, looking at my ale. I shouldn’t have returned to the alienage… so many bad memories… and facing again the fact that they will never accepted me there. Though climbing the Venhadhal was fun, specially seeing the faces of the Elder and the other elves when I made some of the branches fall.

“I felt ashamed of him, of myself… I wondered if I was like him when I was a kid… but I want to believe I wasn’t… If I got caught, I knew the game was over…”

“He had a sick relative”.

“And took his time to tell us. I don’t know. I look back and I know I was too cruel, but at that moment, I just wanted to jump to his throat.”

“You had been through too many things” he strokes my dirty, slimy hair. He knows I like it.

“Don’t blame yourself”.

I look at him a bit relieved.

“I don’t. Alienages are like that. But you couldn’t know it, could you?”.

He looks at his hand, now full of slime, thoughtful.

“I can. I grew up in an alienage myself”

I get so shocked to hear this that I can’t react.

“What?”

“You look cute with your mouth open”, he smiles.

For once it is me who blushes. He’s right, my jaw is down. I quickly close my mouth.

“You’re joking”

“You know me. I never joke”.

“But… in the alienage? Mallory isn’t even an elven name, is it?”

“No. I already told you I’m an orphan, like you. Lirya, the person who found me and took care of me, was an elven bard. She settled down in Highever’s alienage and raised me there. But my family name was embroidered in the blanket she found me with so she kept that name for me. If it is my real name at all”, he adds, hesitantily.

“At least she gave you one”, I sigh. “I can’t recall my family name”, I admit, sadly. “And nobody in the alienage wants to speak about what happened to my parents. Even Ser August used to change the subject when I asked him. When I found my mother’s locket amongst his belongings, he just took it back and said it was time to leave the alienage, but never gave us any explanations”.

“I’m sorry to hear that”.

“And didn’t you have problems, being a shem in the alienage?”
 
He smiles.

Kyle and Lirya, by Pham Ngoc Trinh

“A lot. I was quite a troubleseeker. But I tended to mess more with shems than with elves. And I was lucky to get the friendship of the younger of the Couslands, the family who rules there. He was like an older brother for me, and he helped me to get out of a lot of trouble. He also took an special interest into… educating me”.

 

Kyle Mallory and Ryan Cousland, by Pham Ngoc Trinh

 Oh. So that’s how he learnt his knightly, noble manners.

“And Lindy?” I ask without thinking.

“What about her?” he seems surprised by the question.

“Was she an elf too?”

He turns his attention to his cup of wine. I already regret having asked about her.

“No. She was human”, it’s his short, concise answer.

It figures. Sexy, tall and with breasts. But I don’t say that aloud.
He stays silent, looking at his beverage. You and your big mouth, Mari. Why did you have to remind him? Suddenly I feel the urge to kiss him, to take her out of his mind.

“Can I kiss you?” I ask him.

He raises his head as if I had pinched him
“What?”

“Can I kiss you?” I repeat. “If you don’t mind…”

He hesitates, but approaches his face to me, blushing as always. I take this gesture as a yes so I give him a soft kiss in the lips.

“First time you ask permission for that”, he says, while returning to his cup of wine. He’s right. But somehow it didn’t feel right to steal a kiss when his mind was so far away.

“I thought I should. You seemed to be thinking about her”.

“I was”.

“Sorry. It was my fault”, I admit.
I look at my beer myself. I’m not jealous. I can’t be, she’s been dead for more than ten years now. But my curiosity is too strong.

“Can I ask you something?”.

“What?”

“If she were still alive… if you had to choose between she and I… Who would you choose?”. He looks puzzled, so I add: “I know it is not fair… If she were alive we wouldn't have met, in first place… but I really need to know…”

He turns his attention to the empty cup again, toughtful. His green eye is shadowed and I regret having asked, but I had to spit it out. I wonder how did he look when his face was whole… before he lost his eye… He’s still handsome, but… A cruel thought crosses my mind: she has already stolen me a part of him…

“You don't have to reply if you don't want”, I say, seeing he’s taking his time. But it seems this is the line who encourages him to speak his thoughts aloud.

“Some weeks ago, in my dreams… I used to see her. In the Fade, with Nelson…”

“Nelson?”

“The mabari I got when I became an Ash Warrior. He's also dead.”

“Sorry”

“I had the feeling they were awaiting me. As if my hour were close.”
I feel a chill in my back. Maybe it was just a dream, but if we travel to the Fade when we are aslept…What if it is true that she’s there waiting for him? How can anyone fight against that?

“Do you want to know something?”, he continues, looking directly to me. “Before… before being with you… I sort of had accepted it… The idea of them greeting me when my hour arrived didn’t sound so terrible, so I was willing to face death to be by her side again”.

Nelson the Mabari And Lindy in The Fade as what Kyle had dream and meet them. Art by Pham Ngoc Trinh

 I feel tears coming to my eyes, along with confronted feelings. By one side, what he says touches me. I remember Alindra’s story and I can’t help to feel moved by such a romantic tragedy. By other side, I feel scared and heartbroken. The only idea of imagining him dead just tears my soul in pieces. I freeze.

“And…” I say, encouraging him to continue, to say something which makes me feel better.

“Then you kissed me… I mean, I already loved you… sort of… I wanted you to be happy, I loved your way to giggle, your smile, your determination…I also apreciated your company, and how you blushed when I called you “my lady”… But never thought we were meant to be together… or that you would be interested on me at all… And one day you said you were willing to leave everything behind, to start a new life, and you asked me if I wanted to be by your side… and you gave me a reason to continue living. A goal. Something… to continue ahead.”

This is starting to sound better, I think, while my heart beats a bit faster…

“And now I think that if she actually appeared again, and asked me to go with her, to wherever the dead ones go… I'd reject. I'd prefer to stay here, alive, with you, as long as we are meant to be together. I know it is not the answer you want… but is what I feel”.
It is enough for me, I think. Maybe it is not the stuff bards build legends about, but damn it, it is more than I expected. I feel much better now, even if I need to rub my eyes to make the tears go away. I realize he’s looking at me with interest.

“What are you looking at?”, I ask him.

“Why do you smile like that?”

“Like what?”

“You have a wicked smile in your face”.

A wicked smile. Maybe. My thoughts are a bit wicked now.
“Yes. Because now that I know it… if I ever see your Lindy trying to drag you away from me, I'll kick her pretty ghostly shem ass out of the Fade without any regret”.

 

Mari everyday outfit and the catfight. Art by me

He laughs quietly and messes my hair. I love hearing him laugh
“I don't doubt you would. Not at all. A catfight in the Fade… that must be a sight worth seeing”.

I laugh too. Maybe. Though I think I have already won that fight, that she won’t dare to appear in his dreams again. But I don’t say that aloud. Instead, I look at our empty jars and change the subject.

“I think it is time to take that bath and get rid of all the slime in my hair, before Haakan decides to cut it short and use it for his experiments”. I smile to him. “Shall we go?”
He blushes and shakes his head.

“I didn’t enter the pipe… I don’t need a bath. You can go alone”. He’s red all up to his ears, he surely is remembering our last bath some days ago… when I was still to dizzy to do all I had planned to do to him.

“Hey! You already bathed with me and you survived!”

“You were still convalescent. I agreed to help you. But now you are all right, you don’t need me”.

Stubborn, stubborn shem. I snort.
“Okey. I’ll go alone. But then don’t complain if I’m kidnapped by bandits on my way because you didn’t want to keep me company”.

“I would pity those bandits”, he replies.

Look at him. The one who says he never jokes. I’d kiss him again just to wipe that stupid smile out of his face, but I’m too furious to do that.

“You’re impossible”, I say while I get up and leave the tavern. But I can’t help to feel a wave of warmth and tenderness. He’s smiling again. I made him smile, to have a reason to live. I feel proud of it.

But I’m going to take my time with that bath. And after that, I’m going have a stroll to gather some elfroot for Haakan, to compensate him for having washed all his precious slime out of my hair and my clothes. So I will give Kyle time to worry and to wonder why am I so late, and maybe to consider seriously the idea that I may have been kidnapped by bandits, just because he was too coward to have a second bath with me....

Elven beauty

9:25, 22nd day of Bloomingtide
I almost lose her. Stupid girl, what was she thinking, charging against a giant spider almost alone? My shadows visited her on her nightmares, but with that hound guarding her door, it’s been difficult. Anyway I see she’s been ruthless, and only to save a stupid shem girl! What does she see in shems, by the way? She’s hanging around with that warrior. Love. She thinks she’s in love. Stupid girl.
I need to drag her to me. Damn it, but I can’t if she’s not alone!
(Excerpt from Edanhor Blank’s journal, as found in Highever on 9:25, 14th day of Haring)

ELVEN BEAUTY

I look at the portrait in the locket, and wonder again who this elven woman was. Such a beauty, as much as to move a king’s heart. I look at the golden locks, the emerald green eyes, the sweet yet determined features. And thus, she wasn’t allowed to stay with him, because if an elf can’t just pair with a shem, imagine a king!!! Such a scandal!.

Back at the alienage, I remember that even in the orphanage we were taught that pairing with shems was wrong, because our children would be shems too, and our race would end up dying. Since the other children at the orphanage used to look upon my sister and me, I didn’t give a damn about the complete race of the elves disappearing from this world. As far as I was concerned, a ray from the Maker himself could wipe all of them from Thedas.

I would find my fun wherever I’d like to, shem, elven or dwarf. I have often used the Pearl as an escape route from the guards (Sanga always had a soft spot for my sister and me, even if she never knew Eve never stepped on her local) and I know what they do there, regardless of races or even genders. And all of them seemed to enjoy, as much as to pay for it.

Besides, the children statement is not right. We have a couple of samples here… I guess that no matter what the alienage elders try to teach us, blood has been mixing for ages. And sometimes elven blood finds strenght enough to show up… Look at Mihitu, he looks more elven than shem, though his mixed blood is clear. And Lorelei has pointy ears, despite her clearly shaped human body. I’d swear that even the tiny mage Angie has elven blood, that would explain her height and her… lack of curves… almost like mine.
I look at the portrait again. Poor girl. Maybe she aimed at the wrong target.

I hide again the locket under my pillow and turn my attention to the bits and pieces of Orlesian uniforms I gathered on the cave’s hideout the other day. Most of them were useless, and anyway none was my size, but I can adapt some leather pieces and padded fabrics in a winter armour for me. Now that fall is coming, I should start preparing one. Last winter Eve and me almost freeze in the alienage. And with the remaining bits I’ll make an eyepatch for Kyle. Maybe as a Satinalia present for him.

I lean back in the bed again. I still feel a bit dizzy, I guess the poison has not left my veins completely. The healer said it would take me a while to be completely recovered, even if I am much better now.

She also said she could cast a healing spell over the wound so it would leave no noticeable scars, because if not, I would always have that round, volcano shaped marking making ugly my pretty shoulder. But I didn’t agree, not only because I wouldn’t be able to pay the fee. Also because this scar will always tell everybody that Kyle came back for me into that cave, Kyle defeated that spider (oh, well, at least what Darn and me had left of it) and Kyle brought me out to a safe place in his arms like a bride. It is a small price to pay for memories like these.

Even if the elf root paste stopped the poison and saved my life, as soon as we arrived he searched for a healer to perform a complete cure on me, and made sure it was a female one. I tried to be conscious during the healing but I must admit I failed.

But I know he was by my side almost all the time, holding my hand and sometimes kissing it. I’d swear one time, thinking I was asleep, he was even brave enough to kiss my forehead. As if going further were a crime. It’s so cute and so irritating at the same time…

In the night, he would stay outside, guarding the door. I’ve seen his silhouette against the corridor’s light when I opened my eyes in the night. Never into the room. Because that wouldn’t be appropriate, to stay in a lady’s bedroom during the night.

I smirk at the idea.
I hear him fussing around. He shows his head and asks politely if he may enter. I nod with a smile. He’s wearing the king’s armour we found with the locket. He looks so regal in it! My heart jumps at the sight.

“I don’t know if I should keep this, Mari. It… it just doesn’t seem right”.

The armour is stunning, I can’t deny it. But it is also a good armour. It will protect him in battle much better than the one he had. And selling such an armour should bring more problems than keeping it. Expensive items draw the buyer’s attention and provoke to many difficult questions.

“Keep it. Do it for me”

He shakes his head, not very convinced. He’s a stubborn shem. If he has made up his mind, I won’t be able to make him change it. But it is worth trying. I hope he’ll at least sell it and not give it away.

I notice he’s not even looking at me. I’m on my underwear, and he blushes each time he looks in my direction. Even if my usual two-pieces armour doesn’t cover much more than this. It makes me feel a bit evil for suggesting what I’m going to suggest.

“I need to take a bath, Kyle”, I say. “I know the healer cleaned me as much as she could, but I still feel rests of spider’s guts in my hair. Will you come with me?”

“Er… a bath?”. He hesitates, disturbed. “You mean… in the water?”

“Where else? In beer?”, I giggle. “Now this is an idea. But not, this time I need it to be in the water. I’ve heard there’s a pool near the inn, others have had a bath there. Though I’ll need a bit of help”

All the blood in his veins is now in his face. “I can ask Melissa…”

I have got up and I’m now by his side, feeling his body trembling. “I don’t want Melissa, or any other women. I want you by my side.”

He starts babbling something but I put my finger in his lips.

“I need someone strong enough to help me go there”, I reason with him. “I’m still weak and dizzy. And I also need you to assist me in the water, in case I slip. Please?”
Sigh. I know we will leave our underwear on. I don’t want to kill him out of embarrassment so soon.
I guess he has enough now, with me standing so close to him…. Be careful, Mari… This is like approaching a wild cub. Don’t scare him, because the prize is worth it. Just get closer to him each day a bit more.

“But I don’t think that would be appropriate…”

“What do you fear? That I will steal a kiss?” I joke. “I can do it whenever I want, you know”. I touch his cheek and kiss him in the lips again. I take a bit longer than the first time, because now I feel I have the right to do so, and even if he’s a bit stiff at first, he doesn’t reject me. Soon his arms are around me and the kiss becomes more passionate. I close my eyes and enjoy it. Step by step, Kyle… step by step…

Suddenly he releases me, as if he had realized how far he has gone, and gets back mumbling an excuse. I sigh.

“I’m… I’m going to take this armour off”, he says, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Yeah, the temperature has raised a bit here, doesn’t it?. “Call me when you’re ready for that bath…”

And he goes out of the room again, tripping on the doorway as he does. At the same time, the walls start spinning again so I need to sit on the bed to recover. I wait a couple of minutes before I reach for a simple tunic to wear on our way to the pool.

Before I get up, I take the locket from under my pillow and I look at it once more. An elven beauty which moved a shem’s king heart. And it costed her her life. I have a shem’s knight heart too. He may be of humble origins, as I am, but his heart is nobler than any king’s could be. And I’ll make sure we’ll live years together. I will need them, at this pace!

 
Art by me
 

Rescue Grace

The cries of gulls echo from the rocks in counterpoint to the steady drone of crashing waves. The air is full of the smells of fish and brine, and old seaweed.  The cove is only a mile from the mouth of the Drakon, but it might as well be a different world from the busy port.

The jagged rock cliffs are dotted with caves and it is here that your attention is drawn.  At the mouth of one cave, a child's doll sits at an odd angle, forgotten.  Somewhere in this cavern, a little girl is lost and alone.  It is up to you to find her and bring her back before beasts or bad luck end her life.


Three adventurers stand ready, the warrior Darn of Kirkwall, Marilyn of Denerim, and her beloved Ser Kyle.  They entered the cave warily, with Darn in the lead.  "Do you hear something?" Mari asked quietly, looking around.  The two warriors shook their heads, focused on the small pool of light shed by their torches.  Marilyn looked around nervously, certain something shared the darkness with them.  After a few moments, she spotted webbing high up on the cave walls.  "Spiders," she whispered.
 

Left to right: Darn, Mari, Kyle. 

"Should we get a closer look?" asked Darn, gazing up at the webs.  "Eck, no!  What if we just set them on fire?" Mari replied.  Kyle grips his hilt, ready for an attack.  Giant spiders love the taste of elves and with two of them in the cave; it was only a matter of time before they attack.  Darn considered Marilyn's idea – setting the webs on fire could kill a lot of the monsters but, no.  "That would drive the spiders to us, I think," he told her.  "I'd say the spiders would run from the flames," the perky rogue answered.  "He might be right," Kyle told her; "I say we just kill any spiders we come across."  She nodded and they continued on.

Before they got much farther, they were attacked.  A monstrous spider, fangs dripping with venom, flung itself at the lightly armored Mari.  "No!" Kyle shouted, putting himself between the lady and the beast.  Darn turned to help the two out, but another giant spider chose that moment to attack him.  It jumped down onto his back, clawing at his armor.  While Kyle held one spider's attention, Marilyn circled around it, twin daggers held lightly in her hands.  In one swift movement, she stabbed the beast's tender underbelly, gashing it, and rolling away before it could react.  The spider spun to face her, but it wasn't fast enough.  Kyle put his sword through its head and the creature died with an anguished squeal.

Meanwhile, Darn struggled with the spider on his back.  He couldn't reach it with his icy blade and it couldn't pierce his armor.  Whether through luck or brilliance, the elven warrior managed to slam it into the cavern wall, crushing the spider between rock and steel.  It let go of him then, and he turned to face it.  His first blow froze two of its legs as the spider rushed him.  They shattered beneath its weight, and the spider skidded inelegantly to a stop in front of him.  Darn took advantage of its pain and confusion, hacking the beast open.  The spider twitched and spasmed, reaching even in death for its prey, and then died.

"Are you alright?" Kyle asked Mari.  She looked down at her gore splattered armor and shrugged.  "I'm fine, but when we get home I am taking a bath.  A long, hot bath."  The warrior grinned, blushing fiercely before he looked away.  Darn gave an awkward cough, "Let's move on."  The three continued down the dark passage.  Their battle with the spiders scared the beasts off for now, but how long before they attacked again?  They needed to find little Grace and get out fast.

The path ended in a large chamber lined with broken crates.  Marilyn took one look at the shattered containers and nearly shouted, "Treasure!"  The warriors gaped at the excited elf.  "These crates scream 'trap'" Darn told her.  "Are you sure?  I think they scream 'Touch me! Open me! Take all the riches I keep out of me,'" Mari answered tartly.  Kyle looked around suspiciously.  No sign of the girl, no sign of spiders; something was wrong.  Before he could say a word, a giant rat came bounding in from the other side of the cavern.  The warrior skewered the rat easily as several more ran into the cavern.  Darn and Mari kicked at them, but it was obvious they would soon be overwhelmed.

"Maybe we could set some of these crates on fire?" Darn suggested, smooshing a rat with his shield as he spoke.  "Now it's the right time to use fire?" Mari asked.  The warrior had no time to reply.  He and Kyle had all they could handle keeping the rats away from the rogue.  Marilyn realized the rats were just trying to escape, running past the three and only attacking when they couldn't get away.  "Quick, up here," she called, scrambling up a pile of broken crates.

The warriors followed her up the pile, and watched as the rats scurried past in a sea of gray fur and gleaming teeth.  They were obviously running from something, but what?  At the far end of the passage lay a wide tunnel sloping down; the rats had come from there.  Darn and Kyle jumped off the pile of crates and headed for the tunnel mouth to investigate.  The only other opening was a small, steel door to the left, still closed.  Neither of the warriors had moved very far when the cavern they were in began to tremble.  Something very large was moving in the darkness, getting closer to the adventurers.

"This way!" Marilyn shouted, picking the lock on the steel door easily.  The path inside was dusty, but blessedly free of webbing and rats.  They ran down the passage as fast as they could go.  They stopped to catch their breath. "Did anyone shut the door," Kyle asked.  "Not me," said Darn.  "I got it," Mari replied.  They could still hear the monstrous creature moving around above them.  The cave shuddered and trembled with its motion, but finally the sounds faded.

The three looked around at their new surroundings, wondering where they'd ended up.  It was a narrow passage, made almost claustrophobic by the crates along the walls.  Unlike the rest of the cave so far, this path was obviously manmade, with smooth walls and a patterned floor.  Marilyn had eyes only for the treasure lining the walls.  The crates bore an ornate seal on the sides, possibly Orlesian.  "Finally," Mari said, rubbing her hands with glee.  She began prying open crate after crate, but everything inside was too old and decayed to use.  Ancient suits of armor, old swords and daggers . . . and not a single piece worth taking; still, Mari salvaged what she could.  "It figures," the elf sighed with disgust.  She still checked every one along their path until they came to a split.  One passage led up, dimly lit by something ahead.  The other path led down, damp and muddy.

For Marilyn, it was an easy decision.  Up first, and hope the little girl and the treasure were some place well lit and dry.  If not . . . well, there was always time for the other path.  "Right, please," the rogue told them.  "Then right it will be," Kyle answered, leading the way.  He walked forward carefully with his sword drawn.  "Watch it Mari.  Anything could be down here," he said softly.  The path led them up into a well lit room.  Hanging above the chamber on an elegant chain was an odd, tear drop shaped stone, glowing brightly.  The room held a large comfortable chair and desk, a huge four poster bed, and an antique chest.  Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust.  It was obvious no one had been here in a very long time.

The trio moved carefully, wary of traps and beasties, but the room was every bit as empty as it seemed.  Although the chest was tempting, Mari went to the desk first with Kyle following behind.  Darn had little interest in the treasures this room might hold, and stood guard at the door.  There were several papers on the desk, some so old they turned to dust at Marilyn's gentle touch.  One was still in its envelope, sealed with a lump of red wax.  The name on it caught her eye – Mac Tir.  "Look! Do you think this is from the Orlesian War?" she asked excitedly.  "Maybe," Kyle replied.

There were a few other missives on the desk, another marked Mac Tir that spoke of stolen Orlesian shipments and payment.  That sounded promising.  "What is it," Kyle asked, noting the look on Mari's face.  It meant something very good, or something very bad.  She grinned wickedly, "Nothing to worry about dear."  With that, she walked over to the chest.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Darn asked suddenly.  "No one's using it," Marilyn replied.  "There might be something useful in there," Kyle added.  Darn was thinking of the little lost girl, worried the time they spent here could be the difference between life and death, but Kyle was right.  The chest might have something they needed, and the child had been lost for several days.  What was another hour?  He tried not to think about it.

The chest was very old, covered in dust, and beneath that etched with a thousand tiny shapes.  The lock on it was almost delicate; an ornate, metal clasp with its clever mechanisms hidden beneath stylized carvings.  Marilyn grinned.  This would be a challenge.  The elf pulled out her lock picks and knelt by the chest, leaning forward, barely daring to breathe.  The pick touched the box, and she was nearly knocked back as a bolt of electricity shot through her.  Singed and smoking, she sat back on her heels and contemplated the ensorcelled chest.

Darn walked over and looked at the thing curiously.  "You probably shouldn't touch it again," he commented.  "Those marks look a lot like the magical glyphs Idris uses.  If you touch it, you might be paralyzed or worse."  "So it's the markings that did that?" Mari asked, gesturing to them.  Darn nodded.  His knowledge of magic was limited, but he'd seen Idris cast enough times to know what it looked like.  If they had a mage here, this chest could probably be easily opened.  Without one, this could be painful.  "Maybe you should leave it alone," Kyle told her.  He looked so worried, that Marilyn had to smile at him.  That jolt hadn't hurt all that much, and there just had to be a way around this.  She jumped up and ran down the hall, grabbing a board from one of the crates and dragging it back.

"What's that for?" Kyle asked.  "You'll see," the rogue told him mysteriously.  Mari burned the end of the board, sharpening and hardening the broken end.  Once she was satisfied, she walked back over to the stubborn chest and carefully touched the end of the board to it.  Nothing happened.  The elf carefully used the board to scratch out the glyphs, covering what wasn't scratched out in a thick coating of soot.  Hopefully that would be enough.

With a deep breath, Marilyn reached forward and touched the chest.  For just a moment it felt as if the air thickened, and then – nothing.  She immediately set to work on the tiny lock.  Minutes ticked by with Darn and Kyle watching anxiously.  Marilyn began to sweat; one wrong move and the mechanism would break.  Finally she felt the pick catch, and with a quick twist of her fingers, the latch came loose and the lock fell to the floor.  The treasure inside was worth the effort.

The first thing she pulled from the chest was a set of silverite plate, still gleaming.  She handed it to Kyle with a grin.  "Now you'll really be a knight in shining armor," Mari told him.  Next came a large steel shield with a snarling mabari face etched and painted onto it.  "Darn, would you like this?"  He looked at it for a moment and then shook his head, "No, I prefer to keep mine."  His shield wasn't much to look at, etched and scored from countless fights, but it reminded him of his father and his heritage.

Turning to Kyle, she asked, "Do you want it, sweetheart?  Look, it has a mabari on it!"  He took the shield and slung it on his back.  At the very least they could sell it.  Beneath the armor and shield sat a small coin pouch with some silver, a red and black dagger with Mari quickly pocketed, and a tiny velvet pouch.  It was so small she almost missed it.  "If you won't take the shield, take the silver.  I think we got the best part of this deal," she told him.  After some cajoling, Darn accepted the silver pieces.   While Kyle put on his new armor, the rogue carefully prized open the envelope, pulling the parchment from it as delicately as she could.  With the light of the odd stone, she was able to make out what it said.


We must distract Maric with tactics and battle. He is entirely too upset about the regrettable incident with Katriel. At least we need not worry about the meddlesome elf any longer.  With her dead, he can focus on Rowan and his duty. Make sure you keep his old equipment safe. One day he may have need of it but right now it only reminds him of her.
                                                       -Loghain


Marilyn's eyes widened as she read and re-read the contents of the note.  Could it really be from the Hero of River Dane?  It sounded like it.  She thought about telling Kyle and Darn, but would they even believe her?  Marilyn folded the letter and put it in her pouch carefully.

"What is it," Kyle asked, buckling his straps.  "Let's just say your armor, love, is definitely worthy of a king," she replied with a giggle.  Then she opened the little velvet pouch; it held a little, silver locket.  Inside it held a detailed miniature of a beautiful elven woman.  Long, golden hair curled over her shoulders, green eyes that almost seemed to sparkle.  Mari shut the locket and looked at the back; it was marked with a stylized letter 'K.'  Could this be Katriel, from the letter?  The regrettable and damnable elf?  She put the locket away with the letter, determined to look into it later.

Kyle reached for the glowing stone, pulling it free from the chain.  "It could be useful," he said with a smile.  Finally, the three headed back to the muddy path, trudging down into the bowels of the cavern.  The smell down here was awful, like rot and decay.  Worse, at the bottom of the path lay another webbed chamber.  Bits of dead animals and other things lay snared in the web, half eaten.  Kyle and Darn went first, stepping carefully.  Just into the chamber, a soft sound carried to the trio.  Someone nearby was crying.

"Hello?" Mari called softly.  "Is someone out there?" called a sad little voice.  "Is that you, Grace?" the rogue asked, trying to find where the voice was coming from.   "Mhmmm.  Are the monsters gone?" the girl answered.  "If by monsters you mean the rats and spiders, then yes.  I think they're gone," Darn told her reassuringly.  "Nuhuh.  Not them," the girl answered cryptically.  Marilyn found the door the girl was behind, locked of course.  "How did you get stuck back there?" she asked as she worked her magic on the lock.  "I ran in here to get away from the m-monsters and I g-got stuck," the little girl told her.  In a few minutes they had it open.

Grace was a tiny, shemlen girl covered in dirt and scrapes, her little dress torn and muddy.  She looked around the cave, gaze lingering on the knightly Kyle and brave looking Darn.  "You chased the monsters away?" she asked.  "Yes," Kyle told her with a smile.  In a flash, Grace ran over to him and hugged his leg, finding some safety in his armored presence.  "Just in case, we should get out of here as fast as we can," Marilyn said nervously.  Kyle picked Grace up and slid her around to his back.  She clung tightly to him, burying her face in the gap between his armor and neck.

Just then, the cave trembled a bit, and something moved in the darkness ahead of them.  Before they could react, a huge spider trundled into view, blocking the way out.  "What is this?  Delicious elves waiting for me in my web?" the beast hissed.  Eight glaring eyes swept over the trio hungrily.  "Shapeshifter," Darn spat, readying his blade.  Marilyn looked at Kyle, "Get the girl out.  We'll take care of the spider!"  With that she rolled in front of it, just out of reach.  The monstrous thing lunged forward, causing the cavern to shake.  "Come and get me!" the rogue laughed, dodging it easily.  The spider hissed again, and swept a clawed leg at the agile elf.  It nearly caught her with it, limb passing just over her flaming red hair.

Darn jumped in and slashed at the beast, but got too close.  Venom boiled from its fangs, dripping down his armor.  While the beast was distracted, Kyle darted past, running up the passage with Grace in tow.  Despite his reluctance to leave his love with the spider, they had to get Grace out of danger.  He vowed to come back as soon as he could.  Kyle cast one final glance at Mari before disappearing into the darkness.

The spider was so intent on devouring Darn that Marilyn was able to vault atop it, jabbing her daggers into its hairy, putrid flesh.   Blood and bits of gore sprayed the determined rogue, but she wouldn't let that distract her.  Once atop the beast, she aimed for its beady eyes, stabbing at them viciously.  Below, the beast released Darn, shoving him back as it sought to rid itself of this latest annoyance.  "Tasty morsels fight savagely!  You will not escape.  I will devour your flesh little ones," the beast screamed as it rolled to dislodge Mari.  She fell to the floor, nearly crushed by its weight.

When the spider came back around, it pinned the rogue with its fangs, piercing Marilyn's shoulder.  She screamed in pain and slashed at the spider, severing the fang that impaled her.  Darn rushed forward again, icy blade leveled at the beast.  He drove it home again and again, but the spider barely seemed to notice his attacks.  It was too intent on the injured rogue, too hungry to care.  "I have you now," it howled, pursuing her across the cavern.

Kyle left Grace outside the cave with a stern warning not to go anywhere.  The child looked at him with wide eyes and nodded.  She had quite enough of monsters and caves for one day, thank you very much.  With that, the warrior dashed back into the cavern, running as fast as he could back to his love.  He could hear Marilyn scream, and Darn shout.  They were still alive, he thought.

Darn managed to cut off another leg; the first cut froze it and the second shattered the limb.  The spider stumbled forward, awkward with its wounds.  Marilyn tried to stay ahead of it, but the poison was taking effect, slowing her limbs.  Pain radiated from the wound, and the rogue knew it was only a matter of time before the poison brought her down.  Her vision began to fade, and the fight sounded far away.  She nearly fell as she ran for the passage, the way out her only hope.  Kyle saw her stumble as he skidded down the path, sword drawn.

"Mari!" he shouted, fear and worry writ large in his face.  He caught her, settling the rogue gently against the wall.  Though he wanted nothing more than to make sure she was alright, there was still a monster to finish.  With an angry shout, he charged the giant spider.  Darn had the beast's attention now and was desperately hacking at it as it advanced.  Kyle leapt up onto its back and brought his sword down, piercing the creature's torso.  It screamed in pain, thrashing as he twisted the blade, shoving it even deeper.  Darn darted forward and swung his blade into a wide arc, slashing the beast open along its side.  The wounds were more than the spider could take, and though it thrashed and howled at first, soon it lay still.

Darn glared at the horrid beast, exhausted from his fight, and wounded.  Kyle ran to Marilyn's side, finally able to check on her.  Her breathing was shallow, skin pale and hot.  "Do you have an injury kit or a potion?" he called to Darn.  The elf nodded and began searching his pack.  He had a paste of elfroot that might work to draw out the poison.  Kyle took the salve and rubbed it onto Mari's wound, praying under his breath that this would work.  It didn't take long for her color to return, skin cooling as the medicine took effect.  She opened her eyes to see Kyle hovering anxiously.  "You're alright!" he shouted, pulling her into a tight hug.  Darn looked away, giving the two their moment.

As the three limped to the cave entrance, they heard the chittering and scratching of a thousand spiders converging on the corpse they left behind.  At least they wouldn't have to worry about being attacked as they left.  Grace was waiting outside, staring at the cave with a mixture of hope and fear.  When she saw the heroes, she squealed and ran to them, flinging herself at Kyle and Marilyn first and then hugging Darn.  He swept her up onto his shoulders with a smile.  "We should get you home, little one," he said.  She giggled, kicking her heels against his shoulders, "Home, noble steed!"   Weary but pleased, they took the child home to joyful parents.

 Darn and the Grace, the girl they need to rescue, going home. Art by Pham Ngoc Trinh

A night in the woods

 Art by Alas de Metal

We’ve been walking in circles for three days, and I’m not sure of the reason. I only know that, instead of heading to Denerim, my knight in shining armor insists on taking always the turn to the right when we arrive to the first junction, and after a couple of detours after, we are again close to the forests around the Merry Mabari inn.

I stop him and ask him for a pause.

“Do you want to go back to the inn to spend the night there, or do you prefer to camp somewhere tonight?” I ask him, a bit confused.

He looks at me, and I think I see a bead of sweat over his forehead.

“Ah… let’s find a clearing and camp here… yes. Tomorrow we’ll continue our way to Denerim”

I nod, and start helping him to prepare a campfire in a nearby plain. While I light up a fire, he disappears in the forest, and after a long, long time, darkness already fallen and probably guided by the fire light, he comes back again with a rabbit for dinner. He sits without a word and starts skinning it.

I’m starting to suspect something.

“Is it possible that our noises scared the rabbits away and you took so long to find one?” I ask innocently. He rubs his good eye, hand red with the rabbit’s blood.

“Ah… yes… yes, that is” he says. And focuses again on the rabbit. I move closer by his side and smile.

“I think you can stop doing that… there’s no hair left in that body” I giggle. I offer him a stick to put the meat in and he starts preparing the rabbit to roast it over the fire. I move even closer again, until my arm touches his side, and say absently, looking at the fire. “Luckily you could see the fire to come back, eh?”

He nods again, focused on the rabbit, and suddenly looks at me, alarm in his green eye. “What?”

I smile, knowing I caught him. “Ah, don’t be so surprised! We’ve been lost all this time, weren’t we? I’ve seen we got walking in circles, and though at first I thought that was a trick not to arrive to Denerim, now I know you really have no sense of direction, am I wrong?”

He bites his lips, getting red like a tomato.

“I’m… sorry. Usually… my falcon Tim guides me… but I sent him to deliver a message and he’s not back yet…. Maybe you should lead the way tomorrow”

I watch the rabbit’s meat getting golden on the fire and I nod. Then I turn back to look at him.

What did possess me to want to run away with this man? Apart from a terribly romantic sad love story he could perfectly have made up, I know almost nothing about him. All right, he has always been sweet, and loving, and caring… the only one who has given a shit about me during all the time I was in that damn tavern. But… is that a reason to run after him the way I did?

He’s looking at the fire, which gleams in his only eye like a beacon, and I must admit there’s something more. I can feel it in my heart. I know I liked him from the very beginning. Not the way I liked Mihitu, of course, but… I always knew he was a good person. And… I look at his profile, the light of the fire still dancing in it, and I smile. He really is good looking, nobody can deny that. I move a hand, and hesitantly put it over his. Without thinking, he stretches it.

He likes me. That is sure. Maybe… maybe he doesn’t love me, not the way Alindra was loved by her soldier… not the way he loved his Lindy… but he will protect me… he will give me warmth and company… What else can I ask for? Weren’t I ready to sell my body in Denerim for a life? This deal is much better, because he’s not an unknown person… he’s someone I like too. I smile.

He releases my hand. “Dinner is ready” he says, and takes the rabbit from the fire. I feel my mouth drool… such a simple meal, and it smells delicious. We eat in silence, but it is not uncomfortable. I already know he’s not the talkative type, so… I will get information from him when he’s ready to. I’m not in a hurry.

The rabbit tastes as awesome as it smelled, and I wonder if it was so because I was hungry, because I had never tasted fresh rabbit like that, or because Kyle is a good cook. I hope it is the last. It would be great news for both of us, because I’ve been too worried all my life to get a loaf of bread to learn how to cook properly… and someone in the couple has to be able to do it if we don’t want to starve.

After dinner, I take my bedroll from my backpack and look at him. The night is warm, and I don’t think we have to mount a tent, so I start to place the bedroll by his side. He continues sitting, watching the fire, and I wonder what’s so interesting in it, but I say nothing either. I just snuggle under the blankets and move my head until it rest in his thigh.

“You’re my pillow” I tease. He smiles tenderly, and reaches down to kiss my forehead, then strokes my hair. I feel melting inside… I could spend my life like this. He’s so sweet!

“You won’t sleep?” I finally ask him. He shakes his head.

“Someone has to watch”

“So you won’t hug me until I fall asleep?” I tease, knowing this will make him blush, and I enjoy the consequences. He just shakes his head, and strokes my cheek as only answer. I grab his hand and kiss it softly. “All right, but wake me up to watch when you’re tired” I ask him.

We’re not having the usual time together couples have… but I suppose it is too soon… both for me and for him. And I like the warm of his hand against my cheek, and the soft pillow his leg provides me. I could get used to this, I think, while slowly I feel my eyelids heavier, and sleep comfy in his arms.

_________________

 

Spending all the night without dozing was almost an impossible task, but Kyle was used to wander alone in the woods and he had a sixth sense, or at least a very acute hearing, so he could sense the figure approaching to him before it could harm him, or the defenceless elf sleeping on his lap.

“Oh… hello… Here you are… You plan to murder someone?”, Kyle opened his eye and smiled friendly to the elf standing in front of him. “Probably you mistook me by someone else you’re hunting, didn’t you?”

The elf shook his head, his sword ready to fight. “No mistake.” The voice had a weak Orlesian accent. So his past was reaching him. Even here. After all these years.

Kyle’s face darkened. “How lucky I am…”.

He softly deposited the girl’s head on the ground, being careful not to wake her up, and stepped towards the elf. “Not here. I don’t want to disturb her”

The elf chuckled, a naughty laughter. “So she won’t run away while I finish you? It’s perfect. She won’t know what got her until it is too late”

“You’re wrong” Kyle said with a voice which froze the elf’s laughter. “She won’t know what happened because you’ll be dead before you even think of touching her”.

 ____________________

The sun is not yet in the sky when I wake up. I frown, a bit confused, and soon I realize where I am. My head is no longer over his lap, as it was to be expected, but he’s nowhere to be found, and suddenly I get up a bit scared. What if he’s gone and lost again?

I rub my eyes and shake my head trying to become completely awaken, and with a clearer mind, I realize there are fighting sounds coming from the forest. Those are probably which woke me up, I think. I shake my ears and as soon as I can tell where the sounds come from, I run between the trees, taking care not to be seen. I may be a city rat, but stealth is handy also in the wilderness.

The fight sounds have already ended when I find a body on the ground. I blink, confused, and crouch to check that he is, actually, dead. An elf. Nobody I know. A sword fallen by his side, stains of blood everywhere. Suddenly I feel worried. Where’s Kyle?

 

“Greetings, mylady!” I hear behind me, and I jump, shocked, before realizing it is him. He’s waving a bandaged hand towards me, and smiling as if nothing had happened. I feel confused.

“What has happened here? Who was this elf?” I ask

He continues smiling. “A bandit. But you’re safe now”, he adds, leaning over the corpse and looting it. “Now, I’m hungry! Let’s have breakfast?”

“Are you sure he wasn’t alone?” I insist, pointing at the corpse. “I… don’t want to be stabbed in the back while we have breakfast”

There’s something wrong, I know it, in the way he smiles, and in the way he’s trying to keep me away for the dead elf, but the corpse won’t talk… and it’s no use to stay around it. “All right” I concede, walking after a more-than-eager-to-be-away-from-there Kyle. “Let’s go back before someone steals the remaining of yesterday’s rabbit”. I smirk, drooling at the idea of that crusty meat. “Do you think that thug you killed was there to keep us away from the food?”

“I hope not” he smiles, and this time his smile doesn’t seem fake, so I feel much better too. I smile back at him.

“I think we should go back to The Merry Mabari. It’s closer, and… well, I don’t really have a reason to go to Denerim now that you’re with me. What do you think?”

He nods, as if he was relieved, and I sigh. I’m not sure anymore if I really intended to work at the Pearl, but even if he just wants to be a friend or even a companion, it’s out of question that I’m not doing that now. Maybe we can continue doing some quests for money, and then, time and the Maker will tell.

We have already arrived to the campsite, and everything seems untouched, but it will still pay to be careful, I think while I look around. When I’m sure there’s no danger, I turn again to him.

“Did he hurt you?” I say pointing at his bandaged hand. He shakes his head.

“Nothing severe”

“Next time wake me up” I say. “You shouldn’t stay all the night awaken! I can fight. I can help you”

He suddenly stares at me in a manner I can’t just describe, but that sinks into my heart like a knife. Then he hugs me against his chest, so tight I can’t hardly breathe.

“I will never, never let anybody harm you”, he whispers, and I decide I don’t care about the bandits and the questions without answer and whatever. I raise my hands, and hug him back, lost in his embrace, enjoying his human scent.

“I know” I just reply. And I now I know that it doesn’t matter where we’re heading on - back to Denerim, or to the Merry Mabari.

I made the right choice.

And the right choice is being by his side.

Precious moments

9:25, 7th day of Cloudreach
So, while the brave one was still sick, the quiet one has left. Strange thing, I thought they were inseparable. Also, the templar has left too, infatuated by that Dalish mage girl… isn’t it ironic?. Are you going to be a late bloomer, my offspring? It was the presence of this templar which made you look empty? Also the half-elf has found a male love, and doesn’t pay attention to her. Not that he paid much before, but he was distracting. She’ll get over it soon. And this makes things easier to me, I only need to focus on one. She’s the one, I’m sure, and now she’ll be alone and my shadows can get her. She will be mine at last!!!
(Excerpt from Edanhor Blank’s journal, as found in Highever on 9:25, 14th day of Haring)

PRECIOUS MOMENTS

I caress Stripes. She doesn't seem to notice my mood, as usual. She is curled over my lap while I wonder what to do now.

This has been such a strange night... I had spent two long weeks at the orphanage, where Evelyn and Ser August carried me when I got ill, because they didn't trust the care I would receive at the inn, and there nobody was allowed to visit me.

When I came back, I was told they both had left the place, but I thought it was just something temporary, that at least Evelyn would come back as soon as she learnt I was there. And I didn't care about it. It was time to come back to the routine and, ah, yes, to stalk Mihitu again.

Then I went late to bed, after learning what I learnt about him, sure that sooner or later I'd listen Evelyn's soft breathing in the twin bed besides mine. But when I got up… I saw I had spent the night alone for the very first time in my life, and I had not even realized it. Evelyn had not returned to the inn.

She was gone. None of her scarce belongings where there. Only a note, with a short explanation saying she couldn't stay there anymore and that it was the moment to live her life.

And it hurts. Evelyn was everything I had. And Ser August... well, even if I never took him too seriously, now that I've lost him is when I must admit how much a father he was for me. I feel a tear running down my cheek and I wipe it out, furious. I can survive. After all, it is all what I have been doing so far.

 

I look at the rune the half-dwarf gave to me last night, when he found me crying over Paws. It shines a bit. It is pretty. What did he say?

"Dinnae worry, lass. 'ere have t'is. T'is will store yer precious memories of somet'ing t'at made ye happy. T'is be all okay, lass".

"How does it work?", I had asked hesitatinly.

"Think real hard at those happy moments, lass. An' tha rune will do tha rest".

I try to focus on a happy moment. Maybe one of these days back at the alienage in which I was able to steal a heavy purse. Or just a moment in which I was able to ridicule stupid Miriel. I look at the rune and try to send those memories to it.

After some minutes, I shake my head. This doesn't work, I don't feel happy. All my moments of happiness in the past included my sister. But thinking about her hurts too much now. How can I think hard at something like that?.

Getting attached to anyone is bad, I recall having said to the tall gay mage. "It gives other people a way to hurt you". But how to avoid being attached to anyone, if you've been tied to her since the very first moment you were conceived? We are two halfs of the same person, we used to joke.

And now she's gone. I wonder if she will miss me as much as I do miss her, wherever she is. I wonder if she has happy moments to store in a rune. I hope she does.

I look at the rune again and suddenly I hate it. There's no happiness for me. Not here, not now. I close my fist around it, and throw it away with all my strenght. I hear it falling somewhere behind the bushes... Stripes meows faintly, protesting because my movement has disturbed her.

As soon as it falls, I head a noise. A gallop, and a pant. Stripes' hair suddenly stands on end and she jumps from my lap, scratching my naked legs with her nails in her movement.
A big, fluffy, furry thing comes to me with a satisfaction expression in his silly face.

Paws approaches me, all proud of himself, and lets the runestone, full of dog drool, fall over my lap. Ecks. Silly, silly, silly dog. First yesterday night. Now again. Why doesn't he leave me alone? He seems to like me as much as his master ignores me.

I take the stone in my hand and try to clean it. For a moment I'm tempted to throw it again, but something stops me: the expecting face of the half-breed dog, who looks at me panting, with his tongue hanging in a stupid way by the side of his mouth, ready to bring it back as many times as I throw it. But his eyes are not stupid. And I think I understand what he means. 

 Maybe it is time to start building my happy moments up myself.

I close my hand around the runestone and get up. Paws waits for me before heading to the inn. I'd swear he's smiling. Oh, well. I need to clean up the room I shared with Eve. Without Ser August support, I will have it hard to afford a single room here, imagine a double, twin bedded one.

I guess it is the moment to leave the inn and return to Denerim. I wonder if Sanga's offer is still up. I can tell her I will pretend to be my sister and myself alternatively. I'm not as good actress as Eve was, but I doubt customers will notice the difference.

When I enter the inn, I notice the tall, dark haired figure of Ser Kyle Mallory. I try to avoid him on my way to my room, I don't want to talk to anybody, but he has seen me.

"You look sad, my lady. Have you been crying?"

"It is nothing, Ser Kyle... Just some dog hair in my eyes". Suddenly I change my mind. I need a distraction. The room can wait. "Do you want to share an ale with me? This time I invite!"

I owe him a pint of ale, and I should pay all my debts before I go. I definitely need that ale before facing the fact I'm alone. I feel tears coming up to my eyes again. Don't think about it, Mari.

"Really nothing? But... but it can't be... Your face says something more" He sighs. "I always like to share an ale with you. Actually you don't need to invite me, my lady."

Why does he worry so much for me? Damn it, Mari! You don't need this. Get rid of him!

But I feel good by his side. Warm and protected. And the Maker knows I need to feel that way right now.

"You're the sweetest person I've met in this inn, Ser Kyle. I can never be sad if you comfort me". Suddenly I feel the urge to tiptoe and kiss his check. "And I already promised you next round of ales would be on my account."

"No, I'm not. I'm rude and very clumsy!" He scratches his head, nervous. He's red as a tomato and that makes him so lovable!. "And no, I'm happy that you invited me, but I won't let you pay this round, my lady". He tries to wink his only eye and just the idea is so hilarious I can't help but giggle.

"No", I reply. I'm determined this time. "I have some money and I plan to spend it getting drunk together". I take his hand and rush to the bar to start spending it.

Kyle just smiles and says: "It's fine, my lady. But you must save your money to buy anything which suits yourself. And I don't mean to spend it buying pints of ale. I always can buy them to you"

Oh, come on, I think. This has been a low strike. While I try to react, he adds:

"By the way, if we both get too drunk, who will take us back to our rooms?"

"You can take me to my room, and I can take you to yours", I tease him. But he seems thoughtful.

"And my lady can't allow to get drunk. Someone could take advantage of it. But if you do I'll just make sure nobody touch or hurt you".

He hesitates, wondering if he has said something wrong. "I hope that doesn't hurt your pride. I'm sure you can take care of yourself most of the times... but I'm willing to protect you anyway". Awww. Protect me. Isn't he cute?

I look at him. It's fun, while we were talking, we have already had two pints. Time flies.

I have the feeling that right now he's the only real friend I have in the world. I wish he felt the same for me. If I lose him, I'll be alone...

"I also think you're a real friend, my lady" What? I must have said it aloud. Damn beer! "But I'm sure sooner or later you'll have more friends. You're cheery, brave and beautiful. You have it easier than a speechless and clumsy warrior as I am".

I cross my arms over the bar and let my head lean on them. If he only knew. Oh, well. I can just tell him.

"I'm alone, Ser Kyle. My twin sister and Ser August are gone". And I feel so lost. I really need a friend much more than I will ever admit.

"Don't be upset, my lady. I'm sure they just have had some problem and don't want you to worry. I will always be here when you need me, listen to you, and you can tell me whatever you like to say to me. Keep calm, whatever happens". 

I feel his hand stroking my hair. It's a good feeling. Now I understand why Stripes likes to be caressed.

Why do I have the feeling he feels as lost as I do?

"My dear ser Kyle... no... they're gone for good... There's nothing left for me here anymore.... So I think I'm going to leave too..."

For a moment I see his beautiful, bright green eye, darken with pain. What have I said? But it disappears as quick as it came, and I'm not sure anymore.

"I'm not going with them", I add. "I don't know where to go... Maybe to Denerim? The lady at the Pearl says she will always have a job for me..."

"Wait... What kind of job?", he asks. So he knows the Pearl. Ha.

I get up and look at him. So close. I don't know what do I expect. But I expect something. And I add, without thinking

"Unless... you want to come with me?"

"What...wait... my lady... Would you allow me to keep you company?" He looks terribly confused and his voice trembles. "If it doesn't bother you, I'd be very happy, really... " 

And he quickly leans over me, kisses my forehead and backs rushed as if he had done wrong.

Something changes inside me. Suddenly the future seems bright and my heart jumps up and down like a scared squirrel. How can I have been so blind?

He has always been here, listening to my troubles, even when I complained about a stupid half elf not liking me. And he just listened, and waited. And I was breaking his heart each day a little bit more. How could I be so selfish?

I've taken a decision. Because my heart demands so. Maybe my heart knew better than me. I giggle stupidly.

"You're so sweet, my dear Ser Kyle! Never, never lose that innocence!"

I raise my head and kiss him sweetly in the lips. I just barely touch them, but he tastes sweet and sour, a mix of ale and vintage wine. It's just a second, but it gives me hours of happiness to fill that rune. It definitely makes me feel much better than that first kiss I stole, now ages ago, from a certain half-elf. 

And then I remember I've seen Ser Kyle hanging around with so many people in the tavern. People I barely know. I didn't think about it, but I don't have the right to make him part from his own friends only because I ask him so.

"I forgot you have here much more friends than me. If you want to stay, I'll understand. But if you ever decide to leave, and you still want me to be your lady..."

Kyle has blushed again. Such a big, strong shem, and he blushes so easily! Isn't he cute? And his voice trembles, but he doesn't go away. My brave knight on shinning armor…

"I... I... actually I don't have so many friends". He scratches his head again. "This is just a stop stage when I need something... I can go with you. I will be your guard on the way. I will pack soon, my lady!"

Kyle rushes to his room. In the way he slips, but he stands up again quickly, ashamed that I may have seen him. As if I cared about it.

I realize he has paid for the beers again. Stubborn Shem. I look at my purse. "Buy something with suits yourself", he said. I remember having seen an elegant dress in one of the merchants' posts. Something suitable for a lady. For his lady.

We're travelling together, and now I don't mind where or why. With him, I can go to the end of the world.

And the happiness rune shines with a beautiful blue glow.

 

Kyle had say Mari should save money for buy something useful for her. and this is what she bought